4 Books…

For today’s second challenge post I am to share four books. In a change from previous posts on this subject, today I will be sharing four works of non-fiction that have been a source of great entertainment, happiness and inspiration over the years.

1. The Highlands and their Legends (by Otta F. Swire)

I used to use some of the tales in this book as inspirational starting points for my creative writing. As my stories blended fantasy and reality, I would source ideas from traditional folklore and update them for contemporary times. At one point I had the whole series Swire wrote on this subject (including The Isle of Skye and its Legends, The Inner Hebrides and their Legends and The Outer Hebrides and their Legends) but alas this source of wonder has slipped into the abyss of breakdown and poverty.

They are beautifully written collections and the best on the subject of myth and folklore that I’ve ever come across.

2. How to Dominate Men and Subjugate Women (by Alva Bernadine)

My favourite photography book used to live on my shelf alongside several other photography folios. Right beside it I positioned an exceedingly cheap and tacky book entitled “Nude Photography” (a collection of some of the most uninspired, tedious nude photography you are ever likely to come across) to test a hypothesis. My theory was people will always go for something with ‘nude’ in the title – even if the book right beside it contains far more innovative, sensual and erotic images.

No-one ever went for Bernadine. Not once!

Philistines.

3. Hitchcock | Truffaut (by Francois Truffaut and Alfred Hitchcock)

I once stole a copy of this book from the school library and refused to return it as I couldn’t find it anywhere else. It is made up of transcripts of interviews conducted between master film-makers Francois Truffaut and Alfred Hitchcock on the latter’s life and work.

One of the greatest books on film-making I have ever read and a must for anyone with an interest in the subject.

4. Inverness (by James Miller)

This book was instrumental in the research for The Ghosts That Haunt Me and the creation of ‘my’ Inverness.

A stunning history book that takes us from the early days of the city’s foundation through to the changes of the new millennium. Sadly little-read outside of Scotland, it is a superb book and a must for anyone interested in Scottish history and/or the capital of the Highlands.

From “How to dominate men and subjugate women” © Alva Bernadine

5 Foods…

As I missed a day yesterday, today we have two installments of the challenge.

First up, five foods. Much like other days of this challenge they haven’t specified what sort of foods – so as I recently wrote about foods I love – today I shall share five foods I hate.

And yes, that is a strong word, but given these foods will make me vomit I am happy to use it in this instance :p

1. Ham

I believe my dislike of ham began in high school. For a home economics project we had to take some sliced ham to use during the lesson, only I didn’t use it all and brought the remaining slices home and promptly forgot to put them in the fridge. Instead, they festered in my room for several days until I became overwhelmed by a grotesque smell that I soon learnt came from the maggots that had invested the rotting meat and begun crawling around my room!

Although, strangely, Kettle Chips’ Honey Roasted Ham is one of my favourite potato chip flavours.

2. Squid

Why? Seriously! WHY? Why would anyone would to eat small, eight legged, slimy things? What is wrong with you people?

3. Olives

I once ate an olive. I once threw up shortly after eating this olive. It is the only time I have ever consumed an olive and I never will again.

Happily, my girlfriends loved olives, and relished the chance to steal them if they appeared on a meal I ordered in a restaurant.

4. Coffee Cake (in fact, anything with coffee in it!)

I hate the smell of coffee. I hate the taste of coffee. I hate everything about coffee. Why do people feel the need to make coffee cake or coffee ice-cream or coffee muffins or coffee anything? Are you so addicted to this obnoxious substance that you can’t go one course without consuming it? What’s next? Coffee gravy? Roast chicken marinated in a coffee sauce? Coffee soup? Coffee Starburst?

5. Mushrooms

One evening in a backpacker hostel a friend made me mushrooms on toast. After politely consuming the meal and hiding the fact I was gagging on every mouthful I went for a walk and promptly threw up in an alleyway. Since then other people have fed me mushrooms and on each occasion I ate them and then threw up a safe distance away as I didn’t want to offend.

However, from this point in time onwards, I will be polite no more.

I do not like mushrooms, I do not want to eat mushrooms, thus, I will never consciously eat mushrooms again.

 

Is it just me?

Since the initial burst of euphoria over having my DSP approved on Thursday my mind has slipped into a quagmire of confusion, uncertainty and, though I’m hesitant to say it, depression.

For the first time my disability has been officially recognised. I have government certified proof that I am ‘different’; that my inability to function as a normal member of society is not because I’m a lazy, good for nothing, dole bludger but because I have a mental illness that affects my day-to-day functioning.

It’s a monumental shift in the way people will treat me, as well as how I see myself, and if I were being honest I still haven’t even begun to process it.

Since 2010 I have received my payment on a Saturday, every week (whether homeless or otherwise) has been organised around this day. From next week my payment will arrive on a Tuesday, throwing everything I’m used too out of whack and forcing me to reorganise my weekly events and routine. For some this isn’t a major issue, for me, it’s both stressful and confusing.

With the added social groups through GT House, the introduction of a disability employment service and the recent change to daylight savings, my daily routine has been completely usurped.

I haven’t been on Twitter for days as I’ve been too busy with doona purchasing and celebratory shopping sprees to dilute my life into 140 characters. Whenever I sit in front of the computer to write a blog post my brain conjures up images of women, raspberry gelato, purple underwear and women wearing purple underwear dribbling raspberry gelato onto various body parts. The housework – an activity that is as relaxing as it is therapeutic – has been thrown into disarray; this morning, during my usual Sunday morning cleaning ritual, I spent fifteen minutes staring at the kitchen tiles before leaving the dishes in the sink for another day. Even my daily website reading has fallen by the wayside, leaving me completely unaware of what is happening in the world or the weird and wonderful opinions I’ve grown to seek solace in over the years.

From past experience, I’m hoping this period of confusion and uncertainty will last only as long as it takes me to get used to my new routine, but it has left me wondering whether other people are as affected by change?

Is a shift in routine more upsetting for people who have a mental health problem?

Or is it only me?

Saturday 9: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Saturday 9 is a weekly blogging meme hosted by Crazy Sam Winters (she added the crazy, not me!).

Every Saturday there will be nine questions – sometimes they will be around a common theme, other times completely random – to be answered however we like.

1) Do you ever fantasize about flying, beyond the rainbow or anywhere else?

The only flying fantasies I’ve had generally come when I’m waiting in airport terminals. Not being one who enjoys being trapped in a metal cylinder for extended periods of time, having the ability to whizz across the world on my own accord would be a better solution for me.

Invisibility, telekinesis, teleportation? Well, they are an entirely different story :p

2) Do you think you have seen The Wizard of Oz more than 10 times?

I don’t think I have, I know I have. However it may appear to some I’ve always loved this movie, especially the Cowardly Lion, to whom I relate the most. I’ve also read all the books Baum wrote, am very fond of the 1980s movie Return to Oz, eager to see Sam Raimi‘s new film and would love the opportunity to see Wicked on stage.

Many years ago, I used to collect editions of Baum’s original book. From memory I had about 20 different editions; hardbacks, paperbacks, picture books, all spanning several decades. An odd collection, but for a literary lover, a common one.

One book I’ve always wanted to read Gregory Maguire‘s A Lion Among Men. Given I’ve read the first two books in his Oz series, it’s somewhat odd I’ve never read his novel about my favourite Oz character.

3) Which Wizard of Oz character would you most like to dress as for Halloween?

Given I related most to the Cowardly Lion, it would have to be him. Or Tick Tock, but he’s from Return to Oz.

Oooo, a Flying Monkey, I reckon I would make a kick ass awesome Flying Monkey!

4) What will Trick or Treaters get when they come to your front door?

They won’t. I guarantee you I will not get any trick or treaters knocking on my door. Although Halloween is on the increase in Australia, it is still nowhere near the level that it is in the US.

5) Did you ever TP a neighbor’s house or indulge in other acts of Halloween vandalism as a kid? (Don’t worry, that statute of limitations is up.)

I did TP several houses. We also used to put milk bottles on door handles (so when they opened the door gravity would take hold and…)

Other pranks included: spraying silly string over the house, windows and car; kidnapping garden gnomes and hiding them in obscure locations (and mostly naughty positions); hanging a fake spider in the doorway of a known arachnophobe so it would be in her face when she opened the door and, on one occasion, letting the air out of a particularly annoying neighbours car tyres.

I was the occasional brat when I was younger and probably got aware with far more than I should have done :p

I’m sorry, but Cowardly Lion is not something I think when I see this Oz inspired Halloween costume!

However, if anyone does any of this to my unit this year, Cranky Addy will be unleashed on the world – and that’s something no-one wants to see :)

6) Who annoys you more — people who never respond to your texts/emails, or those who never look up because they’re always checking their texts/emails?

Someone who never looks up from checking their texts/emails; it’s rude, annoying, arrogant and borderline narcissistic. Are you seriously so important that the person you’re responding to can’t wait for half and hour or so?

7) Who was the last person you hugged?

A woman I met on Thursday night. It was a wholly unfamiliar event as it’s been so long since my last hug I didn’t quite know what to do.

8) What two colors do you like to wear together?

I wear a lot of dark red and dark blue. In all honesty I’ve never really put much thought into colour combinations and tend to wear what I feel comfortable in. That said, I look absolutely hideous in: yellow, white and black.

9) Did your alarm clock wake you up this fine Saturday morning?

It did not. The sun blinding me through the open window woke me up this morning!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Foreign

This week’s photo challenge is foreign.

In the UK, the most dangerous animals you’re likely to encounter are an Adder, a cranky badger or a midgie, all of which are unlikely to kill you (unless it’s a really cranky badger!) Whereas in Australia, you’re risking life and death whenever you leave your house! Swooping magpies, Tiger snakes, red back spiders, jellyfish, hungry wombats, crocodiles, drop bears…the list is varied, vicious and endless.

So even though I now call Australia home, it’s a completely foreign land to where I was born and raised. Something I continue to remind myself of so I don’t miss the beauty that is all around me (and to increase my chances of staying alive!)

“The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one’s own country as a foreign land.”
~ G. K. Chesterton ~

Other interpretations of the theme:

Weekly Photo Challenge: Foreign
(laavventura.wordpress.com)
Weekly Photo Challenge: Foreign
(hereandthere5.wordpress.com)
Weekly Photo Challenge: Foreign
(itlnbrt.com)
Weekly Photo Challenge: Foreign
(beijingcityphoto.wordpress.com)
Weekly Photo Challenge: Foreign
(imissmetoo.me)
Weekly Photo Challenge: Foreign
(smkelly8.com)
Weekly Photo Challenge: Foreign
(jinancitydailyphoto.wordpress.com)

Embracing my inner penguin on the day everything changed!

Yesterday, I embraced my inner dancing penguin in the middle of an internet cafe.

Why?

Well, a few days ago I asked my parents if I could borrow $20 for my social gathering yesterday evening. Granted, this makes me sound like a teenager, but given I rarely asked to borrow money to go out with friends at that age (the perils of not really having any) I guess I was making up for lost time.

Anyway, they transferred some money into my bank account and yesterday afternoon I went to collect it in anticipation of my evening and, upon seeing my balance was $200 had a small heart attack. Knowing my parents couldn’t possibly afford to send so much over I initially thought it was either:

a) A cock-up with the international transfer.

b) A cock-up with my Centrelink payment.

or

c) A cock-up with the bank.

Having heard of numerous incidents where the bank randomly transferred money into someone’s account, wait for them to use it and then whack them with a thievery charge, I immediately entered the bank to enquire why my account had so much money in it.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: There’s $200 in my account.
Her: Congratulations.
Me: You don’t understand, there’s $200 more than there should be in my account. I have no money so why do I have $200?
Her: (looking at me oddly) Let me check that for you.
Me: Thank you.
Her: [tap tap tapping on the keyboard] Ok. You received an international transfer of $30 and the rest is a payment from Centrelink.
Me: But I get paid on a Saturday.
Her: It says here that the transfer is for your Pension Payment.
Me: Pension payment?
Her: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: Pension payment?
Her: Yes, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you today?
Me: Pension payment? No, no. Sorry. Thank you kindly.

And I walked away muttering pension payment? until I reached the internet cafe, logged onto Centrelink, and realised they had granted my disability pension without actually informing me in advance that they’d approved my disability pension or be paying me back pay yesterday.

Sneaky bastards!

So, to add balance to the exceedingly depressing bullet pointing my day post I wrote a couple of weeks ago and because I am fecking exhausted and don’t have the power to form beautifully written paragraphs of text, here is me bullet pointing the events since embracing my inner penguin and doing a happy dance upon realising my disability pension has been approved.

• I walked from the internet cafe to the hairdressers and sat outside smoking a cigarette.
• I walked around the block four or five times before plucking up the courage to walk into the salon.
• Upon seeing the divine beauty of the woman with the scissors I immediately faked a telephone call and left.
• I then walked around the block ten more times before walking back into the hairdressing salon.
• Upon having an empty store the woman grabbed me before I had the chance to fake another call and dragged me into the chair.
• She then promptly fainted upon learning I hadn’t had a haircut in over two and a half years.
• After reviving her with smelling salts (that I keep in case of emergency) I braved the chair for twenty minutes.
• Her accent was a mix of Spanish and Australian. An odd, yet utterly beguiling combination that made the experience rather pleasurable.
• With my hair looking magnificent I left with a renewed spring in my step, fully aware that this particular hairdresser is the incentive I need to get regular (at least once a fortnight) haircuts.
• I then went to the shops and purchased: a not quite brand spanking new pair of jeans (yay, no more hole the size of a fist in my crotch!), some brand spanking new underwear (yay, for my sexy ass looking even sexier!), a 50% off yet still brand spanking new pair of shoes (yay, no more fixing with superglue and cardboard!) and a brand spanking new razor (yay, no more disposables tearing my face to shreds!)
• Following this rather altruistic shopping spree I perused the op shops, had a shot of whisky in the pub (in preparation for the evening ahead) and then returned home.
• Anxiety attack #1 was followed with me showering, shaving, making myself look and smell utterly edible and then commencing the 6km walk to where I was due to meet for the social gathering.
• Anxiety attack #2 was followed by my phoning my parents to give them the first piece of good news in a long, long time.
• Anxiety attack $3 was followed by me narrowly avoiding (with a rather stupendous forward roll) a swooping magpie.
• Anxiety attack #4 was followed by me sitting on a bench near the river smoking three cigarettes as I realised in a few minutes I would be walking into a pub for my first social gathering in nearly four years.
• Or I could just walk home.
• …
• …
• After scolding myself for even thinking such a thought I took a deep breath and entered the pub…
• …[which I will tell you all about tomorrow when I’m in a far more capable of writing mood]…
• …[suffice to say I didn’t die, pass out, have the building implode on me or be tortured by sadists]…
• …in fact by the time I returned home I was in a rather good little mood and promptly fell asleep dreaming of Spanish/Australian hairdresser woman and how frigging awesome and courageous I am!
• I woke up at 5am after a PTSD nightmare and couldn’t get back to sleep.
• After waking I headed out and logged online to make sure no-one was worrying about me too much.
• I re-posted the Thursday Thirteen post I’d written (that, for some reason or another failed to schedule properly) before reading a few comments from yesterday that urged me, should I receive back pay, to treat myself.
• Given my happy dance of the day before the staff didn’t seem too fussed with me saying “Very well, good sir, I shall!” in a verbal response to the comment.
• Cue “Addy’s Fuck Yeah I’m On the Disability Pension and Goddamn Treating Myself After Five Years of Fucked Up Pain Shopping Trip!” (or the unpronounceable AFYIOTDPAGTMAFYOFUPSS for short)
• Purchase #1: Two not quite brand spanking new pillows for $4 (!)
• Purchase #2: A BSN doona for $10 (my first doona since early 2009)
• Purchase #3: A NQBSN doona cover and pillow case set (red with purple elephants!)
• Purchase #4: A DNBSN glass bottle for .80c (so I can keep tap water cool)
• Purchase #5: A DNBSN mug for .20c (bit chipped, but a cool red/purple pattern)
• Purchase #6: Two NQBSN shirts and two NQBSN T-shirts (red, red, ochre and brown)
• Purchase #7: A foot long roast chicken sub on Italian herbs and cheese bread with lettuce, cucumber, pineapple, carrot, capsicum, salt and pepper, bbq sauce and a white chocolate and macadamia nut cookie as a treat. (Delicious!)
• Purchase #8: A brand spanking new copy of Dollhouse Season 1, which has only just been released in Australia. (yes, I live in poverty, but if you have a problem with me buying a new DVD I refer you to what this shopping spree is in aid of!)
• Purchase #9: Shampoo, shower gel, shaving foam, toothpaste, mouthwash and a brand spanking new toothbrush! (just, yay!)
• Then I came home.
• And chastised myself for being so frivolous and purchasing so many un-necessary items.
• Then chastised myself for chastising myself because, Dollhouse aside, I needed every single thing I purchased!
• So now, after the week I’ve had (three social events, DSP approval, multiple anxiety attacks and more emotions than you could shake a stick insect at) I’m exhausted, spent, out-of-it, confused, sleepy, anxious – yet strangely, unfamiliarly, relaxed.

Apologies for being absent from the ‘net over the last few days. I shall be blog reading, commenting, comment replying, writing, tweeting and lots of other random things tomorrow (once I’ve slept and taken in all that has happened!)

Until then, hope you are all well and doing lots of wonderful fun things :)