All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…


Saturday 9: Come Monday

Saturday 9 is a weekly blogging meme hosted by Crazy Sam Winters (she added the crazy, not me!)

Every Saturday there will be nine questions – sometimes they will be around a common theme, other times completely random – to be answered however we like.


1) What will you be doing come Monday (Labor Day)?

In Australia, Monday is just another weekday, so I shall be doing my normal Monday things; a trip to the gym in the morning, my Creative Therapy group in the afternoon and a quiet evening either blogging, watching a DVD or a combination of the two.

2) This song is about a performer who is “heading up to San Francisco for the Labor Day weekend show.” When you think of San Francisco, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?

The first thing that comes to mind are family members who are currently living in San Francisco.

The second thing that comes to mind is the Zodiac Killer.

Not sure what that says about me! :\

3) As he sings, Buffett tells us he’s wearing Hush Puppies casual shoes. What’s on your feet as you answer these nine questions?

No socks; no shoes; nothing. It’s more comfortable that way.

4) So many Jimmy Buffett songs take place on or around the water. When was the last time you were on a boat?

The last time I was on a boat was a ferry trip from the Isle of Rum to Mallaig, on the west coast of Scotland. I took a day trip to the island in February of 2008. It is a beautiful place and I would have loved to have spent a little bit more time there.

5) Everyone knows Jimmy Buffett can write music, but he also has more than half a dozen books to his credit. What’s the last book you read?

Sadomasochism for Accountants…which isn’t, by the way, a handbook for the deviantly minded mathematician, but a breezy comedy novel. Definitely worth a look if you ever get the chance.

6) Jimmy’s persona is that of a simple beach bum, but in reality he’s a conglomerate, with his own beverage company, more than a dozen restaurants and a couple of hotels. He’s so successful he has several homes, including a luxury mansion in the Hamptons! If you, like Buffett, could just take off and spend Labor Day weekend anywhere, where would you go? Who would you take along?

I answered a question very similar to this a few days ago as part of the ‘Try Looking At It Through My Eyes Challenge’, but if I were to answer it here, I would rather like to spend the weekend in Tasmania; a part of Australia I’ve always wanted to visit….but given my isolated nature, I would probably have to go alone for someone would need to be a little insane to want to travel with me! :p

7) This weekend may offer a golden opportunity for napping and sleeping in. Do you snore?

Not to my knowledge.

8) Labor Day was introduced to celebrate the achievements of the American worker. Yet this Recession has taken its toll on many of us laborers. Sam’s brother, a movie projectionist, hasn’t worked full-time in his chosen profession in more than a year. Is anyone close to you struggling with unemployment or underemployment? (If so, they are in our thoughts this weekend, too.)

I have been unemployed due to mental and physical health problems since 2009. It’s not fun, it’s not pretty and it doesn’t mean I’m lazy. Anyone who is currently struggling with unemployment have my thoughts this – and every – weekend, for it is not a pleasant place to be.

9) Onto something happier … Labor Day traditionally marks the beginning of the new school year. When she was a kid, Samantha was crazy for her brand new box of 96 Crayola Crayons. It even had a sharpener in the back! What do you remember about preparing to go back to school? If you’re a parent with school-age kids, are they ready?

The two things I remember most about preparing to go back to school are anxiety (as it always meant that bullying wouldn’t be too far behind) and brand spanking new stationary (which is a much more pleasant memory for someone with a stationary fetish!)

(4) The last time I was on a boat was a trip from the Isle of Rum to Mallaig, Scotland | © Addy


Saturday 9: Easy Lover

Saturday 9 is a weekly blogging meme hosted by Crazy Sam Winters (she added the crazy, not me!)

Every Saturday there will be nine questions – sometimes they will be around a common theme, other times completely random – to be answered however we like. Given my MIA status of late, this is my first Saturday 9 for quite some time and I’m quite heartened to know that it’s still around, I’ve rather missed doing it each week! :)


1) This song is about a heartbreaker who just can’t commit. Have you ever fallen for an “easy lover?”

Nope, I don’t think I ever have.

2) This song is one of Crazy Sam’s “earwigs.” Each time she hears it, it bores in and stays in her head forever! (Hear it here, if you dare!) Do you have a song like that?

There are a few I can think of. …Hit me baby one more time (Britney Spears) would be one, Harder to Breathe (Maroon Five) would be another…but the one that always gets me is:

3) Both Phil Collins and Philip Bailey* have stars on The Hollywood Walk of Fame. Have you ever visited Hollywood?

I have not. In fact, I am the only one of my siblings/parents who has never stepped foot on US soil. This is something that does annoy me somewhat – considering I was the first travelling Lake – and hope to rectify at some point in the future.

4) Hollywood is the movie capital of the world. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?

The last film I saw in the cinema was the Edgar Wright directed The World’s End. I am a huge fan of the director and his previous work with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, so was expecting greatness.

Unfortunately, this final film in their ‘Cornetto Trilogy’ was more goodness than greatness but is still one I would recommend to fans of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.

5) Phil Collins was a child actor in his native England, appearing onstage in musicals like Oliver! Can you think of another child performer who went on to entertainment industry success as an adult?

There’s the obvious options of Drew Barrymore and Anna Paquin as well as the not so obvious options of Nicholas Hoult and Jake Gyllenhaal.

6) Philip Bailey joined Earth, Wind & Fire while still in college, so he’s been a performer throughout his working life, as well. Have you ever been tempted to try your hand at show biz?

I have, many times, been tempted to try my hand at show business. But alas, I am neither talented nor hot-enough to be part of this elite group.

7) Is there a profession that you never, under any circumstances, want to try?

I genuinely never – ever – want to have anything to do with Politics. I cannot think of anything more boring and meaningless; especially when it comes to Australian Politics.

8) What are you looking forward to right now?

The couscous I am about to cook for dinner. After years of being couscous free I was tempted to purchase a packet of it a few weeks ago due to a combination of a conversation during one of my support groups and a supermarket special. Now that I’ve been reminded of how awesome it is, there’s been no looking back!

But aside from this, it would be my planned trip to Melbourne in November for the Hearing Voices World Congress -slash- fiftieth anniversary of Doctor Who -slash- cross item one off my bucket list -slash- seek closure from homelessness quadruple header! :p

9) Do you suffer from trypanophobia (fear of needles/injections)? Or can you bravely donate blood or get a shot, without freaking out?

Oh hell yes I do! I actually had a conversation about this not so long ago due to a swath of blood tests I had to undergo to find out what’s wrong with me. The conversation was predominantly about the needles involved, but also touched on the why is it I can self-harm without a second thought but freak out whenever a needle needs to break my skin conundrum?

I think it may have something to do with release and/or control, but I’d actually be interested if any other self-harmers experience such high levels of trypanophobia and why they think it is.

Anna Paquin; then and now.

Anna Paquin; then and now.


Saturday 9: You Belong To Me

Saturday 9 is a weekly blogging meme hosted by Crazy Sam Winters (she added the crazy, not me!)

Every Saturday there will be nine questions – sometimes they will be around a common theme, other times completely random – to be answered however we like.


1) Like the girl in this song, have you ever been in love with someone, but was afraid to tell them?

Oh hell yes! It’s kind of par-for-the-course with social anxiety, non-existent self-confidence and the firmly held belief you are the most inconsequential, irrelevant human being who has ever lived. :p

It’s hard, obviously, but something you get used to over time.

2) Taylor Swift has been known to write songs about her real-life lovers. If you were to write a song about the most recent person you were romantically involved with, what would the title be?

Stop Teasing (Light the Fire!)

3) Ms. Swift recently turned 23 and has already won VMAs and AMAs and Grammys. What were you doing when you were 23? (If you aren’t 23 yet, where do you see yourself when you hit it?)

When I was twenty-three, I was emigrating from my home in the UK to commence a new life in Australia. An event seen by many, including myself, as the biggest mistake I ever made.

4) When you were a child, did you sleep with a plush toy? (If yes, please include its name in your answer.)

I did, it was a white seal wearing a turquoise jumper, but for the life of me I can’t remember his name!

5) I’m making a Starbucks run. What can I get you?

Nothing, thanks. I’m not really a coffee or Starbucks fan! :)

6) It was 60 years ago that Clarence Birdseye first marketed frozen vegetables. Now it’s your turn: Share something you learned recently.

The first recorded use of the term ‘funny bone’ was in the (quite dreadful and doggerel) poem Bloudie Jack of Shrewsberrie, written in 1842. (“They have pull’d you down flat on your back! And they smack, and they thwack, Till your ‘funny bones’ crack”)

Also, although a female platypus has a pair of ovaries, only the left ovary is functional.

7) In junior high, were you class clown, teacher’s pet, a geek, a jock … or did you just melt into the background?

I oscillated between ‘just melt into the background’ and class ‘whipping boy’. The latter being someone people used to blame their shenanigans on or, from time to time, take their own stress/frustrations out on. Fun times!

8) Was your most recent ticket for parking illegally or was it a moving violation?

I don’t drive, so have never had a car-related ticket. The last ticket I got was for travelling on a train without a ticket; and the only reason I did something so naughty was because I had an appointment with a Mental Health service that I could not miss.

9) Tell us about the last museum you visited.

I honestly don’t remember. I tend to spend more time in Art Galleries than museums – mainly because the former are generally free where museums are not. It could possibly have been Inverness Museum, back in 2009, long since one of my favorites! :)


Sign outside the Inverness Museum and Art Gallery © Addy


Saturday 9: You are home

Saturday 9 is a weekly blogging meme hosted by Crazy Sam Winters (she added the crazy, not me!)

Every Saturday there will be nine questions – sometimes they will be around a common theme, other times completely random – to be answered however we like.


1) Sam is crazy for The Lion King. Do you have a favorite Disney movie?

I used to have a soft spot for the Disney made ‘natural history’ documentaries (such as White Wilderness), but then I discovered they staged footage of a mass-suicide of lemmings by launching them off a cliff from a turntable, so have no intention of ever watching or supporting these films again.

As far as more acceptable Disney film’s go, my favourite has long been Beauty and the Beast (the insidious abuse/Stockholm Syndrome metaphors aside) but I do have a soft spot for The Great Mouse Detective, Robin Hood, The Little Mermaid, Pinocchio and The Sword in the Stone. The best recent Disney movie is Tangled; a magnificent fairytale retelling with a much more interesting heroine than usual and the magnificent Zach Levi on voice duties.

As for Disney’s short films, The Practical Pig is quite wonderful.

2) The song tells us that Hakuna Matata “means no worries.” Is something worrying you right now?

Hmmmmm, let me think?

  • The fact I risk having my gas and electricity cut off because of a balls up with Centrelink.
  • My current mental and emotional exhaustion risks becoming something much worse.
  • Will I ever kiss a woman again?
  • That the area I live in will become drought ridden considering it’s rained for approximately 15 minutes in 2013.
  • It’s possible I’ve forgotten how to write.
  • Will I ever feel human touch again?
  • That my voices are planning something nasty considering I haven’t heard from any of them in nearly six days.
  • That the world is about to end courtesy of the machinations of a megolomaniac giraffe.

I’ll leave it there…but basically, I worry about many things, every minute of the day.

It’s exhausting! :/

3) Who is the most optimistic person you know?

Optimism is overrated. In fact, I can’t think of anyone I would describe as an optimist.

As for me, many people often (mistakenly) see me as pessimist, when in reality I am a realist.

4) Elton John wrote “Hakuna Matata” but didn’t record it. Name a song Sir Elton is famous for singing.

Tiny Dancer, as used to perfection in one of the most perfect movies of all time. I dare you not to sing along! ;)

5) Can you play the piano?

Not any more.

6) Congratulations! You just won a guided African Safari Tour! 8 days in Zambia and Botswana for you and a friend. All expenses paid, and allowing you access to breathtaking, unforgettable sights. It takes at least 30 hours to get there, and before you go you’ll need yellow fever and hepatitis vaccinations and medication to prevent malaria. Are you up for it?

An all expenses paid tip to Zambia and Botswana? I would absolutely be up for that.

7) There’s been a mistake. You really won a 4-night Disney Bahamas Cruise for two. Are you relieved or disappointed that you’ll be partying with a guy in a Simba suit on the Lido Deck instead of observing a real lion in the wild?

Disappointed doesn’t even come close. I can’t think of anything more boring that being trapped on a cruise ship.

8) Let’s bring this back to real life — do you have any vacation plans?

I think I’ve slowly come to the accept that – not matter how much I want one – I will never have a vacation again.

Ah well.

9) Describe your luggage. Is it durable and high quality? Or are you like Crazy Sam, who has been known to use an Old Navy shopping bag as her carry-on?

I have a backpack that quite comfortably fits my worldly possessions and makes me look like a turtle! :)


Hope everyone is having a fantastic day! :)


Shortest…Saturday 9…ever!

Saturday 9 is a weekly blogging meme hosted by Crazy Sam Winters (she added the crazy, not me!)

Every Saturday there will be nine questions – sometimes they will be around a common theme, other times completely random – to be answered however we like.

Midnight Train

1) Have you ever been to the Atlanta?

Although I did observe it from across a raging waterfall once, I’ve never set foot in the United States, so no, I’ve never been to Atlanta.

Atlantis based escapades? Well, that’s an entirely different story that you didn’t ask about, so I guess it will have to wait for another time! :p

2) Do you enjoy traveling by train?

Hell yeah! I LOVE the train. I would marry the train if it wasn’t seen as being socially odd! ;)

3) “Midnight Train to Georgia” is Sam Winters’ signature number at the karaoke bar. What’s your go-to song when you take the mic?

I don’t have a signature song. On the exceedingly rare occasions I karaoke I always mix things up and try something new.

4) Do you drink tea?

I’m British, tea has been pumping in my veins since birth.

5) What’s the most recent thing you purchased for your home?

A bookcase…and given how many cheap books I’ve procured from op-shops over the last few months, I’m now in need of another!

6) Are there dishes in your kitchen sink right now?

Nope. I was in a shitty mood last night so blitzed the housework at 3am to try to calm  me down.

It didn’t work! :/

7) Have you ever been fingerprinted?

Nope. Although I can be incredibly naughty from time-to-time, this naughtiness never extends to committing criminal acts as this goes against my annoying moral/ethical code.

However, I have a vague memory of a primary school trip to a police station/courthouse that may have included having our fingerprints taken for “educational” purposes.

8) What was the last check you wrote?

It could possibly have been a charity donation back in 2006, but I really have no idea. I haven’t used cheques since the onset of Internet Banking.

9) What color are your eyes?

Hazel, with flecks of green. They’re pretty cute! ;)

Glenfinnan Viaduct

Fort William to Mallaig; one of the most beautiful train journeys in the world! :)

Wow…shortest…Saturday 9…ever!

Hope everyone is having a fantastic day! :)


Saturday 9: Winter…so much sexier than summer!

Saturday 9 is a weekly blogging meme hosted by Crazy Sam Winters (she added the crazy, not me!).

Every Saturday there will be nine questions – sometimes they will be around a common theme, other times completely random – to be answered however we like.

very brady sequel

I’ve never seen a single episode of The Brady Bunch…I have however seen A Very Brady Sequel!

1) The best known Brady Bunch song is, of course, the show’s theme. Do you know the lyrics?

I’ve said it before and at some point in time (unless I get off my arse and actually track down the DVD) I’ll say it again: I’ve never seen a single episode of The Brady Bunch.

However, I have seen the The Brady Bunch Movie and A Very Brady Sequel (the latter being another guilty pleasure of mine) but I’ve no idea how the theme tune goes.

2) The Bradys were a blended family. Do you have stepparents, stepchildren or stepsibs?

Not that I’m aware of.

3) Samantha admits that, when she was 12, she taped Greg Brady’s photo over her bed. Before you judge her too harshly, come clean yourself. Did you have a major pre-teen crush? Who was it?

Given this week has been Fun and Games week on my blog, how could I resist the opportunity to put together another wee game? Below are six pictures of pre-teen crushes (what? I was a passionate man, even back then)…can you name them all (or any) of them? :p


Anyone who correctly identifies the ‘bottom-middle’ crush earns the right to be called awesome!

4) Which TV character do you wish lived next door?

I wouldn’t mind living next door to Lily and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother, I think that would prove quite entertaining!

And if I was to notice a Police Telephone Box parked inconspicuously at the end of my road…well, that wouldn’t be all that bad either! :p

5) It’s a sunshine day! Describe your sunglasses.

Prescription sunglasses are inordinately expensive and I just can’t afford them, so alas, no sunglasses for Addy! :(

6) You’re on a 90-minute flight. How will you spend the time? Do you read a book? A magazine? Look out the window? Take a nap?

The only times I’ve  done a 90-minute flight I used my Nintendo DS to pass the time.

In fact, on the first occasion, I began an epic game of Germ War (a Tetris like mini-game) that spanned the flight, three hours in Glasgow and a train ride to Fort William!

As a general rule, I will only fly when there is no other alternative, even these short-hop flights.

7) Do you have a favorite brand of toothpaste?

No. They’re all pretty much the same anyway.

8) How many keys are on your key ring?

Four; front door, back door, bike lock and a mystery key that opens the door to a magical realm populated by sexy Eskimos, talking Elks and ninja wombats.

(Note: I may be lying about one of those keys in order to make this question even remotely interesting!)

9) What do you miss about summertime?


It’s been four months of constant sun, blistering heat (mid 30s to mid 40s, in fact we’ve  only had two days below thirty in 2013!) and virtually no rain (from 6 Jan to 27 Feb it didn’t rain once; not even a drop!)

And given my local council’s insane decision to close the old swimming pool whilst they build a new swimming pool – which they promised would be open before Summer, only it wasn’t – the residents of my town haven’t even had a pool to cool down in. Thus, no sly perving on bikini-clad woman to make the summer bareable! ;)

Bring on winter! And Eskimo jackets!



Winter…so much sexier than summer! ;)