As I missed a day yesterday, today we have two installments of the challenge.
First up, five foods. Much like other days of this challenge they haven’t specified what sort of foods – so as I recently wrote about foods I love – today I shall share five foods I hate.
And yes, that is a strong word, but given these foods will make me vomit I am happy to use it in this instance :p
I believe my dislike of ham began in high school. For a home economics project we had to take some sliced ham to use during the lesson, only I didn’t use it all and brought the remaining slices home and promptly forgot to put them in the fridge. Instead, they festered in my room for several days until I became overwhelmed by a grotesque smell that I soon learnt came from the maggots that had invested the rotting meat and begun crawling around my room!
Although, strangely, Kettle Chips’ Honey Roasted Ham is one of my favourite potato chip flavours.
Why? Seriously! WHY? Why would anyone would to eat small, eight legged, slimy things? What is wrong with you people?
I once ate an olive. I once threw up shortly after eating this olive. It is the only time I have ever consumed an olive and I never will again.
Happily, my girlfriends loved olives, and relished the chance to steal them if they appeared on a meal I ordered in a restaurant.
4. Coffee Cake (in fact, anything with coffee in it!)
I hate the smell of coffee. I hate the taste of coffee. I hate everything about coffee. Why do people feel the need to make coffee cake or coffee ice-cream or coffee muffins or coffee anything? Are you so addicted to this obnoxious substance that you can’t go one course without consuming it? What’s next? Coffee gravy? Roast chicken marinated in a coffee sauce? Coffee soup? Coffee Starburst?
One evening in a backpacker hostel a friend made me mushrooms on toast. After politely consuming the meal and hiding the fact I was gagging on every mouthful I went for a walk and promptly threw up in an alleyway. Since then other people have fed me mushrooms and on each occasion I ate them and then threw up a safe distance away as I didn’t want to offend.
However, from this point in time onwards, I will be polite no more.
I do not like mushrooms, I do not want to eat mushrooms, thus, I will never consciously eat mushrooms again.