Hearing Voices Q&A: What do you want to know?

A few days ago I had a conversation with someone about my hearing voices. The person I was speaking to is not a voice hearer, and they were explaining their difficulty in understanding this aspect of my mental health. It got me thinking that there are probably many people around the world who have trouble understanding the voice hearing experience. It is, after all, not something many people can get their head around.

Over the years I have tried to explain, to the best of my ability, my own experiences with hearing voices, for example:

• Introducing the People I hear; was a post that introduced my five primary voices to the world.
• What it’s like to hear voices; in which I tried to explain what it feels like to hear voices.
• What triggers Meadhbh; explored, from Meadhbh’s perspective, what triggers her to talk to me.

But I probably haven’t covered all of the questions that you may have about this aspect of my mental health. Which is why I’ve decided to open it up to you. In this brand spanking new blog series, I’m giving you the opportunity to ask any question you may have in regards to voice hearing and my experience of it. Perhaps you want to know how I handle multiple voices talking to me twenty-four hours a day. Perhaps you’ve been burning to ask when all this started in my life, but were too afraid to do so. Whatever question you may have, I will answer it as honestly and openly as I can.

But this Q&A isn’t just for me. My voices have also agreed to answer any questions you may have of them. So if you’re keen to find out what gets Meadhbh all excited, or what books are Audrey’s favourite, now’s your chance. All you have to do is ask, and they will answer, as honestly as they can.

In order to make it user-friendly I’ve decided to offer several ways that you can ask questions:

If you’re happy for your question to be viewed publicly, you can;

• Ask it via the comments field below,
• On Twitter (@addylake)
• Or via my Facebook page.

But if you’d rather the question be kept private, you can;

• Ask it via email (allthosestraythoughts@gmail.com)

Just remember to direct your question to who you’d like to answer it. Either myself, Addy, or my voices, Meadhbh, Audrey, Vanessa or Shay. This will prevent any confusion and/or avoid everyone offering their opinion when it isn’t wanted.

We’re happy to answer any question you may have, and look forward to opening up a conversation about the voice hearing experience.

So, let’s get the questions rolling! :)

 

25 Songs, 25 Days: Protect and Survive

Day 15: A song you love singing along to

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Protect and Survive | Runrig

I’m a terrible singer. Really. Truthfully. I couldn’t hold a note if the fate of the world depended on it. But when I’m alone – which is pretty much all the time – I have been known to sing along to random, much-loved tunes.

Given they are my favourite band, more often than not, I’m singing along to Runrig. I love their use of language. I love the rhythm of their music. I love the blend of folk and rock genres. I feel good when I’m singing along to Runrig, even if I’m butchering the tune with my shrill, melodyless voice.

So be glad you’re not in the room with me as I play today’s song; for I will be singing along to it, and I wouldn’t want to damage your precious sense of hearing. But why don’t you sing along to. Even if you are as bad at it as I am.

The red hot sun burns up the hill
The winter’s bride, the summer’s king
I tramp these acres and I feel
Once upon a time
Then it seemed that everything
You saw and touched and felt was real
You turned the tap and you turned the wheel
Breathing free

Once in a lifetime
You live and love
Once in a lifetime
You die
Once in a moment
The sun goes down
Protect and survive

Now you search the open evening sky
Trace the memories in your eyes
For the prophet’s hard rain and the deluge
Lie in tears around your door
Once there were trees and livestock here
A mother’s love, the warnings clear
But you chose to turn away from fear
Breathing free

Once in a lifetime
You live and love
Once in a lifetime
You die
Once in a moment
The sun goes down
Protect and survive

Now there’s a faceless cross on a distant hill
A wasted voice, a silent scream
Where the lovers love and the dreamers dream
You stand and dream alone
You took your sacrifice to the gods of war
Traded your children’s lives for a mess of gold
And you beat your ploughshares into swords
Breathing free

Once in a lifetime
You live and love
Once in a lifetime
You die
Once in a moment
The sun goes down
Protect and survive

25 Songs, 25 Days: A jaunt into three parallel worlds…

Day 14: A song that reminds you of your boyfriend/girlfriend

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Wow. Today’s prompt is single-friendly, isn’t it?

What if you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend? What are you to do then?

*puts thinking cap on*

*assumes thinking pose with hand on chin*

*spends several minutes pondering this complicated dilemma*

Ok. As I am not fortunate enough to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, as I am destined to spend my life alone, with only my voices for company, I’ve decided to share three songs; one for each of my parallel world girlfriends. For as long as I can remember I’ve believed in parallel worlds. Worlds that are created out of our decisions, out of our choices. For every decision we make a world is created for each of the possible outcomes.

Parallel Worlds Theory

So, for example, if you choose to ask someone out on a date there are three possible outcomes: (1) They will say yes (2) They will say no (3) They will knee you in the groin for being a moronic fool. At that split second you make your choice to ask the question, three worlds are created, one in which you end up on a lovely, adventurous date, one in which you spend the night alone, mourning your loss and one in which you end up in hospital for a displaced testicle. Understand parallel world theory? Good, we shall continue.

~1~

Champagne Supernova | Oasis

My first parallel world girlfriend is Natalie Skippington, a girl I had an immense crush on in high school. At the time, in my reality, I was too nervous, too shy and too anxious to ask her out on a date. But parallel world Addy was able to ask her out on a date and they have been together ever since. And in that parallel world relationship, one song reminds them of their youth, of the heady days of their teenage lust.

~2~

Little Plastic Castle | Ani DiFranco

My second parallel world girlfriend is Annie Johansson, a woman I  met whilst backpacking across Canada. We met in a backpacker hostel and bonded over fire-toasted marshmallows and a shared love of adventure. For seven long days we laughed, sung and bathed our way through the wilderness of the Rocky Mountains. Then it came time to say goodbye. But our friendship burned bright, and it wasn’t long until we were reunited in Vancouver for another week of mayhem, fun and frivolity. Unfortunately I was too anxious to share how I really felt, so our relationship was never anything more than friendship. But in a parallel world I told her. And we’ve been together ever since.

Obviously ‘our song’  is one that reminds us of our initial time in Jasper; and Ani DiFranco sung it.

~3~

Many of Horror | Biffy Clyro

My third parallel world girlfriend is Samantha Campbell. When I met Samantha I was still heavily traumatized by my abusive relationship. I didn’t trust anyone, so was unable to make the moves required to transform our relationship from platonic to sexual. But, in a parallel world, I was able to make the transformation; and our relationship has flourished ever since.

Our song, that one tune that defines our relationship, is by Scottish rockers Biffy Clyro; Samantha’s favourite band.

Teaser Tuesday: Seconds

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of A Daily Rhythm.

Anyone can play along with Teaser Tuesdays! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• Be careful not to include spoilers!
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

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This week, my graphic novel obsession continues with…

Seconds
by Bryan Lee O’Malley

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So, what’s everyone else reading at the moment? Go on, give us a tease…

What depression feels like…

25 Songs, 25 Days: Hotel California

Day 13: A song that reminds you of a former friend

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Hotel California | The Eagles

In late 1999 I was backpacking around the majestic country of Scotland. After taking in the wonders of Edinburgh, Stirling, Oban, Fort William, Glencoe, the Isle of Skye and Orkney I decided, after examining my bank account, to settle for a while in one location. After careful consideration I decided this location was Inverness, and checked into the first hostel I found; the Inverness Student Hotel.

Within weeks of beginning my stay I was laughing in the face of anxiety and making friends with the other souls who had found themselves long-terming there. Deborah, Elle, Kaye, Elizabeth, Jemima, Barry, Justin, to name but a few, became some of the best friends I ever had. A group of individuals thrown together through circumstance, who just happened to fall in love with each other in that city of the north.

For five long months we formed a little family. Bonding over cigarettes, practical jokes and copious amounts of alcohol. We laughed together, cried together and had more adventures than you could possibly imagine. Adventures that took us to far-flung locations, adventures that cemented our friendships, adventures that we would remember for the rest of our lives.

It’s been sixteen long years since those heady days of the Inverness Student Hotel, but I remember it as if it were yesterday. I remember the contentment of playing Scrabble with Deborah in the middle of the night, the joy of sharing BLTs and bizarre conversation with Elizabeth and the jovial interplay of razor wit with Justin. It was, unequivocally, one of the greatest periods of my life.

After a decade of anxiety, frustration and loneliness I connected with a group of individuals in the most unlikely of places. I haven’t spoken to any of those wonderful people for over ten years, but I think of them, my surrogate family, often. And never more so than when our anthem is played.

This song reminds me of a time – and place – of pure happiness and friendship. As such, it is one of my favourite songs, ever!