“Which brings us to the other side effect of our collective crying poor: it makes it easier to look past the struggles of those who are genuinely struggling.”
Over the years I’ve written quite a bit about my pet peeves – and the endless complaining of the ‘privileged poor’ is definitely one of them!
This article, from Australia’s The Age newspaper, is beautifully written and ends with a truth that few people acknowledge:
Is there such a thing as the ‘privileged poor’? by Rachel Hills
Have you ever sheepishly backed out of a social engagement because you’re “too poor”? Taken to Twitter to vent about how broke your Master’s degree/recent overseas trip/great-for-party-conversation-but-not-exactly-financially-lucrative career has left you? Complained to friends over red wine and camembert about how difficult it is to pay for private school, a mortgage and a cricket club membership, and still take your annual holiday?
Congratulations. You may be a member of Australia’s privileged poor, the growing portion of the middle (and upper-middle, and even occasionally upper) class who believe they are doing it tough despite being socially, economically and educationally privileged in every way.
The privileged poor can take a number of guises. They might be a student who subsists on Centrelink payments and unpaid internships, but still has their rent, food and phone bills paid by mum and dad, Lena Dunham-style on Girls. They might be a twentysomething graduate who earns less than their lawyer and banker friends, but who still has enough cash on hand to eat out, keep abreast of the latest technology, and zip home in a taxi when the train is tardy. They might be a small-business owner taking in $120,000 a year, but who feels like they don’t have much left over to play with once the bills have been paid.
What they all have in common is that they are not actually “poor” – at least, not in the conventional sense of the word. In fact, by most people’s standards, they’re pretty well off. They just don’t feel like they are.
Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading.
Anyone can play along with Teaser Tuesdays! Just do the following:
• Grab your current read • Open to a random page • Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page • Be careful not to include spoilers! • Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!
This empowering book presents the insights and techniques of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) a revolutionary new psychotherapy based on cutting-edge research in behavioral psychology. By clarifying your values and developing mindfulness (a technique for living fully in the present moment), ACT helps you escape the happiness trap and find true satisfaction in life.
◊~~~◊~~~◊
So, what’s everyone else reading at the moment? Go on, give us a tease…
Over the last year I’ve been writing a sporadic series titled ‘My Life in…‘ where I highlight the films/books/moments/music that have defined me through each year of my life. Today it’s time to settle onto the couch, as we look over the last thirty-four years of television and all the series that have defined my life.
The rule is simple, for each year since my birth I’ve chosen a show that debuted in that year. These are not necessarily the best television series of each year, but the ones that speak of who I am in my soul.
My Life in Television
No poltergeist was summoned during the writing of this post (I hope!)
1978 ~ GRANGE HILL
Ahhh, Grange Hill. Anyone who grew up in the UK during the 80s will now be flashing back to that magnificent theme tune and remembering Mr Bronson, Mrs McCluskey and Todd Carty (pre-Eastenders). Anyone who grew up outside the UK will now be wondering what the hell this show is…basically it was an ongoing children’s drama set within a comprehensive school; cue storylines involving drug overdoses, mischief-laden school trips and visits to the headmaster’s office. An absolute classic!
1979 ~ NOT THE NINE O’CLOCK NEWS
Aside from Monty Python, this is one of the greatest sketch comedies ever. Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones, Pamela Stevenson and her future husband, Billy Connolly.
1980 ~ YES, MINISTER and KICK START
Yes, Minister – one of the finest political sitcoms ever made. Kick Start – one of the finest ‘perform tricks on a motorcycle’ game shows ever made!
1981 ~ ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES
(Possibly) my favourite British sitcom of all time and the only one to ever make me cry.
1982 ~ THE COMIC STRIP PRESENTS…
This fantastic half-hour comedy series starred Dawn French, Robbie Coltrane, Jennifer Saunders and more. Notable in my life for the single greatest “Famous Five” spoof ever made!
1983 ~ BLACKADDER
If you haven’t seen this comedy series…finish reading this post, leave a jovial comment, then head to your local DVD retailer and pick up the complete series box set. Personally, I love Blackadder II, mainly because Miranda Richardson is magnificent as Queen Elizabeth and Stephen Fry, as always, is superb as Melchett.
1984 ~ THE BILL and CITY LIGHTS
The Bill; a quintessential British police drama than ran until 2010. City Lights; a not quite as quintessential Scottish sitcom that ran until 1991.
1985 ~ TELLY ADDICTS and NEIGHBOURS
In the mid-90s, my family applied to appear as contestants on the television quiz show Telly Addicts. We weren’t successful, but it didn’t deter us playing along at home each and every week. As for Neighbours, this was required viewed for a teenager in the UK when I was growing up. It probably still is! :p
1986 ~ CASUALTY and THE SINGING DETECTIVE
Casualty is a looooonnnnggggggg running drama/soap based in a hospital. Think Grey’s Anatomy without the musical episodes. In researching this article I was surprised to find it is still running. Meanwhile, The Singing Detective is one of the monuments of television drama and demands multiple viewings!
1987 ~ GOING FOR GOLD
A quality quiz show in which contestants from all over Europe competed to win something (I don’t remember what!) The only thing I can remember about this show was the theme music, which was composed by Hans Zimmer – now an Oscar-winning film composer!
1988 ~ THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
This BBC adaptation is still the greatest interpretation of C.S. Lewis’ classic children’s novel. The fact I used to have nightmares about being attacked by giant beavers is in no way a comment on its quality.
1989 ~ QUANTUM LEAP and SAVED BY THE BELL
Saved by the Bell; the show that introduced me to the beautiful Tiffani Amber Theissen. Quantum Leap; the show that (Doctor Who aside) defines my early teenage years. Fun Fact: When Scott Bakula uttered the phrase “Oh Boy” during his appearance in Chuck, I almost died of glee! :p
1990 ~ TWIN PEAKS and THE CRYSTAL MAZE
Twin Peaks is one of the few masterpieces of television…The Crystal Maze, not so much, but was a damned entertaining game show that once upon a time I aspired to be a contestant on.
1991 ~ MR BEAN
I adore Rowan Atkinson. That is all.
1992 ~ HIGHLANDER: THE SERIES
One of the most important television series of my life; I miss this show with an intense and fiery passion.
1993 ~ CRACKER
One of the greatest crime dramas ever!
1994 ~ TAKIN’ OVER THE ASYLUM and DUE SOUTH
Takin’ Over the Asylum is the single greatest drama ever made on the subject of mental illness and should be required watching for anyone working/interested in the field of mental health. Due South is one of the greatest Canadian television series ever and should be required watching for anyone with a Mountie fetish.
1995 ~ HAMISH MACBETH
If there is a man or woman able to watch this show without falling wildly in love with Robert Carlyle, I’ve yet to meet her! If there’s a man or woman able to watch this show without falling wildly in love with Shirley Henderson, I’ve yet to meet her! As for Plockton (aka Luchdubh in the show) I’ve been there…and it’s gorgeous!
1996 ~ THE PRETENDER
All I really remember about this show is that (a) I loved it and (b) they stopped screening it midway through a season so I never found out how it ended.
1997 ~ BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
I have written extensively of my love of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so I shall say no more about it here.
1998 ~ SEACHANGE, THE MICALLEF P(R)OGRAM(ME) and THE GAMES
There are only four Australian shows on this list, and these are three of them! SeaChange reminds me of my relationship with Louise and the early days of my time in Australia. The Micallef P(r)ogram(me) is the greatest work of Australian comedian (and genius) Shaun Micallef and The Games is possibly the greatest thing to ever be produced in the history of Australian television.
1999 ~ SPACED and FREAKS AND GEEKS
If you have never seen Spaced, you’ve never lived. The same could be said for Freaks and Geeks, but considering it has yet to see an Australian DVD release, few people in Australia have. Their loss!
2000 ~ BLACK BOOKS
The greatest ‘set in a book shop’ sit-com ever made.
2001 ~ SMALLVILLE, UNDECLARED and 24
I’ve often ranked Undeclared as one of the greatest comedy series ever made. But, like it Freaks and Geeks predecessor few people have ever seen it due to a serious lack of DVD release outside of Australia. 24 (and Jack Bauer) is a majestic work of absolute beauty that few people ever really appreciated (or understood), whilst Smallville is one of the great genre shows of the last twenty years. Well, until the hideous monstrosity that was Season 7, that is!
2002 ~ FIREFLY
Yes, it’s the second most over-rated series in the history of television. But it’s still pretty good! :p
2003 ~ ONE TREE HILL
Again, I’ve written a lot about this show in the past, especially how it once saved my life.
2004 ~ RESCUE ME and WONDERFALLS
Wonderfalls – the greatest ‘series that no-one’s ever heard of’ in the history of television. Damn you television networks for cancelling this masterpiece! However, a massive thank you to the networks, cast and crew for the exceptional drama series Rescue Me; one of the ‘must watch’ shows of all time.
2005 ~ HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, INVASION, WEEDS and SUPERNATURAL
Look, I couldn’t choose, okay? How I Met Your Mother is a magnificent sitcom that’s helped me no end over the last several years. Invasion is an underrated gem that introduced me to Alexis Dziena. Weeds is a magnificent opus of delightful writing and incredible acting. Whereas Supernatural is not only a show I’ve turned to in times of great distress but one of the finest urban-fantasy series in recent memory.
2006 ~ 30 ROCK and TORCHWOOD
In regards to 30 Rock: Tina Fey, genius. ‘Nuff said! :p And…if I can’t have Doctor Who (damn you year of birth!) at least I can take some solace with Torchwood.
2007 ~ CHUCK, THE SARAH JANE ADVENTURES and SKINS
It was impossible to pick between these three shows. All have saved my life. All are exceptionally well written, beautifully performed and deeply inspirational. Three of my favourite shows of all time.
2008 ~ FRINGE and jPOD
Fringe; a masterwork of science-fiction that took me years to fully appreciate. jPod, yet another show no-one ‘s ever heard of that I adored! Go Canadian television!
2009 ~ COMMUNITY
The greatest comedy series currently being made. And not just because it stars the magnificent Alison Brie! :p
2010 ~ TODD AND THE BOOK OF PURE EVIL
This show helped my survive the chaos that was 26 February 2013; it is also a magnificent and creative comedy-horror series!
2011 ~ GAME OF THRONES
However much I want to dislike like this show because I (occasionally) love being a ‘lone wolf’, I just can’t.
2012 ~ GIRLS
Some of its male characterisation aside (a problem that also affected Sex in the City), this is one of the few series of late that I’ve developed an attachment to.
~ FYI, I deliberately left out animated series. Perhaps I will return to these in the future! :p ~
To say I’m still lost to the negative emotions that have been circling me of late would be an understatement. Living in a perpetual state of heightened anxiety is an exhausting place to be. It has already cost me hope and is draining me of what little energy, focus and concentration remains. However, this blog has always been a place of solace and therapy, so where better to try to make sense of a monumental moment of my life (and dent my current writer’s block) than here?
This post was written as a stream of consciousness on Sunday 5 May 2013, between 15:32-16:04. Apologies for any spelling errors, grammatical mistakes and confused rambling that may occur; they’re all part and parcel of streams of consciousness.
~Humiliation
For the better part of twenty-five years, when confronted with a trigger, my gut reaction has always been to run. Whether it be out of the room, out of my place of employment or even, on some occasions, out of the county. I will do whatever it takes to remove any possible chance of encountering that trigger again. I will avoid songs, movies, streets, shops, suburbs, people and cities – regardless of the detrimental effect this will have on my life. After all, half a decade of isolation has fine-tuned my survival instinct into a brutal, instinctual beast.
However, a few weeks ago, for the first time ever, I confronted a trigger head-on.
I sat in a room with the person who has been triggering me and told them that they were triggering me.
Everyone – from support workers to family to Meadhbh – have been telling me it was a massive achievement; something that I should be proud of, something that I should see as a turning point in the way I approach the trauma and anxiety that has ruled my life for so long.
But I felt nothing but shame, shit and utter abject humiliation. So much so that last weekend I submitted to that brutal beast and left my home with the intent to return to a homeless life far from the town that has been my home for the last eighteen months-ish. So much so that I have taken to spontaneously bursting into tears purely to release the tension within me. So much so that in the last three weeks I’ve had only half a dozen conversations as I resume a state of protective hibernation.
Everywhere I’ve been, everywhere I’ve cycled, every occasion I’ve found myself in has seen me staring rigidly at the ground, never once looking at the world around me for fear people will see me for the wretched creature I believe I am. My cheeks have burned red with blushing embarrassment, my silence – even more than usual – has been deafening and my mind lost to the demons of self-hate, negativity and near constant (irrational) criticism.
But every time I’ve been asked why I’ve felt so humiliated – I’ve not been able to rationally explain it. Not once.
Perhaps because I was admitting a weakness to someone I look up to admire. Perhaps because it proved my inferiority in comparison to the rest of the world. Perhaps because I’m just a worthless piece of shit destined to feel nothing but negative emotions.
Or, as Meadhbh put it, “perhaps it’s easier to wallow in humiliation rather than bathe in the stunningly kick ass awesomeness of Addy!” (She’s a smart one, that Meadhbh!)
~Repetition
Throughout my abusive relationship whenever I showed a glimmer of strength it wasn’t long before my abuser upped-the-metaphorical-stick to beat me back down. She had to, as it’s much easier to control someone who is vulnerable than someone who is showing signs of kick ass awesomeness!
I was conditioned to appease; to say only the things she wanted to hear, to do the things she wanted to do, to share the opinions that she wanted to hear. Any sign of weakness, any sign of individuality, any moment of awesomeness, would lead to abusive tantrums, vicious insults and public humiliation; all to keep me vulnerable and her in control.
As I sat in that room with my trigger only a few feet away, I wasn’t appeasing the situation, I wasn’t doing what (my abuser) would have wanted me to do, I was being the kick ass awesome Addy that only Meadhbh seems to be able to see. I stood up to emotions that – only a couple of weeks earlier – had left me vomiting and bawling on the floor of a public toilet.
Yet, rather than applaud this show of strength, my mind reverted to the mindset of how my abuser would have made me feel. In essence I (in conjunction with Vanessa, the voice of my abuser) ensured I was punished for this (in her words) “outrageous display”.
~Flagellation
So, as Vanessa yelled, screamed, tormented and abused, I succumbed to a flagellating state. Not physically, but mentally lashing my soul with a cat o’ nine tails. How dare I believe I could be so strong! How dare I possess such strength! How dare I demonstrate such a determination to be someone other than a repulsive piece of shit!
Cue the focus on shame. On humiliation. On the tears, cycle of self-hate and irrational decisions to appease she who must always be in control.
Cue the depersonalization. The dissociation. The removal of my self from mind, body and soul as a means of protection against such powerful pain.
Cue the self harm. The self-medication. The repetitious acts I’ve become so accustomed to perform in a valiant effort to reconnect the shattered remnants of my mind.
Cue never once realising that the only reason my abuser, my voices and my traumatized self act like this is because we are scared.
Morbidly terrified of losing control over someone they can see is growing in strength, stature and confidence.
~Amelioration
A few weeks ago, for the first time ever, I confronted a trigger head-on.
I sat in a room with the person who has been triggering me and told them that they were triggering me.
Everyone – from support workers to family to Meadhbh – have been telling me it was a massive achievement; something that I should be proud of, something that I should see as a turning point in the way I approach the trauma and anxiety that has ruled my life for so long.
And they’re right. I know that. I don’t believe it yet, but I know that they are.
Everyone has triggers, not just people who deal daily with mental ill-health and trauma, but everyone.
Confronting a trigger in the manner that I did three weeks ago is something not everyone could do. To put yourself in such a dangerous position, such a vulnerable and humiliating position, is something most people (myself included) would run from. But I didn’t. I may have blushed, I may have looked everywhere in the room but eyes, I may have felt nauseous from fear and humiliated beyond belief. I may have forgotten every goddamn thing that was said after admitting what was happening!
But I still did it.
I still took the first step on the path toward finding more productive ways of dealing with triggers than doing Monty Python and the Holy Grail impressions.
Later this week I will be meeting my support worker to review some of the ideas that were discussed that day (I am being completely honest when I say I can’t remember any of it! Hence, dissociation!) and perhaps from that – and my Biopsychosocial Personal Treatment Plan ideas – something can be implemented to re-empower myself against this particular trigger.
In time, I’m sure I will begin to believe the kick ass awesomeness of Addy.
Until then, I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s okay to feel; regardless whether those emotions are positive, negative or somewhere in between.
“The Biopsychosocial Personal Treatment Plan (aka Self-Love!)”
“A trigger is a recognisable risk that can produce or stir-up symptoms. Triggers can be preventable,”
In week one of the Mi Recovery series we built a biopsychosocial model of the causes, symptoms and treatments of our mental illness(es). Now, in week three, we look at how we can use this model to identify techniques and strategies in which we can combat our triggers.
Since my breakdown in 2007 I’ve done a lot of work in understanding, analysing and identifying my triggers. The manner in which I’ve been living (homeless, socially isolated, no support structure) has forced me to educate myself on what needs to be avoided in order to prevent catastrophic collapses of my mental health. Personally, I think it’s vital that anyone dealing with mental health issues spends some time identifying their triggers; for doing so gives you knowledge – and knowledge is power!
There is no easy way to identify a trigger; sometimes they are obvious, sometimes they sneak up on you, but with time, committment and support (I can’t express how important this latter factor is when it comes to dealing with triggers!) it is possible to produce a list of things that trigger you.
For example, the smell, taste and presence of Gin and Tonic sends me right back to the night I was assaulted in Adelaide ’07, whereas articles on emotional abuse, rape or victim blame mentality have the potential to dredge up a cavalcade of unwanted memories and emotions. There are also a plethora of songs I cannot go anywhere near, as well as people, places and movies that can send my spiralling out of control.
Whenever I am confronted with a trigger my gut reaction is to avoid at all cost! But, as I recently wrote about, triggers can be preventable. Approaching triggers from the biopsychosocial approach is one such way to identify potential new strategies and wrestle back the control that triggers have on our lives.
My Biopsychosocial Personal Treatment Plan (aka Self-Love!)
“Enjoyable and healthy activities that I do for myself, that decrease stress and symptoms, help my moods and help me manage the things that trigger my symptoms.
Personal Treatment can affect all aspects of the person – the physical/biological, the psychological and the social. Personal treatment is a holistic approach. Research says that people who have included Personal Treatment activities in their lifestyle are more likely to recover than those who rely on medication,”
~ Pat Deegan ~
The first step in applying the biopsychosocial model to our triggers is to work out which categories they each fit into; are they biological, psychological or social in origin?
For example, if your trigger is a place, food or medicine – then they are biological triggers. Whereas (in my opinion) loneliness, anniversaries and television series are psychological triggers and people, boarding houses and clothing are social triggers. However, how you categorise your own triggers is entirely up to you. There are no right or wrong answers, only those that are pertinent to your lived experiences.
Once you have identified biopsychosocial nature of your triggers, you can then use the same approach to brainstorm potential new strategies and lifestyle changes that could be implemented to help you manage them.
Again, there are no right or wrong answers as to how you approach this. In creating my list I decided to take a two-pronged approach, firstly by looking at things I could implement to help fight my triggers in general:
And secondly, by creating ideas specific to the more difficult triggers in my life.
Given my current situation, the most obvious trigger to tackle first was the person who has been – through no fault of their own – triggering me of late:
After this, I decided to take a look at the issues of songs, sleep (lack of) and the isolation/loneliness that plagues me so:
And, as a final experiment, I decided to brainstorm strategies I could implement next Tuesday (being the 7th May and one of my “bad days“):
A few notes on the above tables:
All text in black is specific to me.
All text in purple is specific to Meadhbh.
All text in orange is specific to Audrey.
Some of the ideas in the ‘Strategies & Lifestyle Changes’ table may seem extreme to others (e.g. is self-harm really a viable treatment option? is leaving Wodonga really something that would help deal with my triggers? is it really possible for me to give myself comfort?) but, like I said, they are pertinent to me.
Some of the ideas overlap as I believe they fit into multiple categories (e.g. ‘tell her about the person she reminds me of’ or ‘face head-on’)
How the Biopsychosocial Personal Treatment Plan could help…
In all honesty, given my current mood, I’m still processing this approach to dealing with triggers – hence why I haven’t explained it all that clearly (sorry!) - so if you have any questions about this activity or how I’ve applied my triggers and strategies, don’t be afraid to ask.
However, I do believe it is a worthwhile activity to undertake. In creating the above lists I have identified hitherto unseen strategies that could help in my ongoing battle with triggers. The exercise has also helped me realise my current coping mechanisms (flee, run away, avoid) have done little to help but a lot to hinder my recovery.
In creating this list I have acquired knowledge over my triggers. Thus – once I’ve implemented some (or all) of these strategies – I will have power over them to.
“I’m tired of trying to make it up to you. Sweeping the ashes and hiding the truth. I’m tired of pretending everything’s alright. Let me feel, let me feel, what I’m feeling tonight,”
~ Serena Ryder (from Sweeping the Ashes) ~
1) I think I’ve broken my mind (seriously, does anyone know a king with any men and/or horses?)
On Tuesday 30th April, I sat on my couch staring into space from 5pm to 9am. I didn’t actually go to bed. I just sat there, intermittently bursting into tears, doing absolutely nothing. Fun times! :p
2) I have been depersonalizing and dissociating
Since Tuesday 23rd April, I’ve not been present in my mind, body or life. I have been sitting on a cloud watching a chubby mentally ill (ex) homeless man go about his mundane business whilst making a complete ass of himself.
3) I am no longer capable of laughing
On Sunday 28th April, I watched a marathon of Community and didn’t laugh once. Not once. Given Community is one of my favourite comedy series this is highly irregular!
4) I have begun making (ir)rational decisions
On Saturday 27th April, after packing a backpack, I left my unit and began cycling to Melbourne. The plan was to pick up my ‘homeless life’ after eighteen months of play-acting ‘normalcy’ (aka: an easy way to run away from all the crappy emotions I’m feeling, aka: AVOIDANCE!)
Following a night sleeping rough I came to my senses and returned ‘home’.
5) I think my tear ducts have been malfunctioning
Since Monday 22nd April, I’ve cried at least once a day. I have cried in public. I have cried during my groups. I have cried in the shower. I have cried in parks. I have cried in bed. I have cried on the couch (see [1] above). This is altogether too much crying to be normal.
6) I can no longer concentrate on anything
On Wednesday 24th April, I couldn’t focus on children’s animated classic A Bug’s Life, let alone any of the books/articles/journals/MH workbooks/activities I normally undertake each day.
7) I have entered a (frightening) new stage of dreaming
Normally my PTSD fuelled dreams revolve around either the various assaults I’ve received in my life (especially July ’07) or the emotionally abusive relationship I was in…but now, I’ve begun having incredibly lucid dreams centered around one particular person. To say these have unsettled me would be an understatement.
8) I seem to have lost the ability to control my anxiety
On Friday 26th April, I cycled the thirty minutes or so to my Hearing Voices Support Group but instead of attending, I sat in an alley behind the meeting room for twenty minutes, had a quick cry and then returned home – all due to an inability to control my anxiety as I normally would have.
9) I seem to have become obsessed with bracketing (things)!
Given that in this post alone I’ve bracketed the (ir) of irrational as well as half a dozen other words, letters and phrases, I thought this would be altogether too obvious!
10) I am no longer capable of smiling
Last week’s episode of Doctor Who (Journey to the Centre of theTARDIS) saw Clara wearing a little red dress. Given Sammi was wearing a red dress when I met her, and Jenna Louise Coleman reminds me of Sammi, a smile should have accompanied the cavalcade of memories. It didn’t.
11) I have begun self-medicating again
Since Tuesday 23rd April there has been a (noticeable) increase of: alcohol, cigarettes, coke (as in cola not narcotic) and pizza; all self-medicating substances for me.
12) I have begun self-harming again
Since Monday 22nd April there has been a (noticeable) increase of both invasive and non-invasive self-harm. Part distraction, part release, part trying to re-connect the dissociated parts of myself and part succumbing to my voices.
13) I have lost hope (and I’m not sure I know how to find it again)
“Give us some hope We haven’t got enough To keep ourselves filled up When you drink us empty, drink us dry
And ask us why we’re dry,”
~ Serena Ryder (from Dark as the Black) ~
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Apologies for the dark(er) post, I’ve been feeling incredibly humiliated since admitting to my recent trigger face-to-face that they trigger me (I’ll get to that once it’s been processed) and haven’t been dealing well with the fallout it’s had on my anxiety/self-esteem/mood/control/etc. Hopefully ‘normal service’ (i.e. slightly kinky, rambling, occasionally inspiring, perky, strong Addy) will resume soon. Hmmm…given it’s nearly 3am, perhaps some sleep will help!
Until then, I hope you’re all well and having a better run of it than I am at the moment! :)
FRIDAY FINDS showcases the books you ‘found’ and added to your To Be Read (TBR) list. Whether you found them online, or in a bookstore, or in the library — wherever! (they aren’t necessarily books you purchased).
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What books have you added to your TBR list this week?
"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." ~Maya Angelou
After this, I decided to take a look at the issues of songs, sleep (lack of) and the isolation/loneliness that plagues me so:
