All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…


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Update: Imploding

Yesterday, I had a long, lengthy and languid conversation with Meadhbh. She’s worried about me. She says I’ve lost my faerie sparkle. And she’s right. There is currently no happiness in my life. There is no joy, no contentment, no relaxation and no motivation. There is nothing but stress, depression and a morose malaise that I cannot seem to break. Throughout the conversation she tried to spark my interest; we talked about Samantha, whom I miss more than life itself, we talked about movies and television, we talked about old friends and acquaintances, we talked about Zelda, kink and the importance of believing in the strange, obscure and magical, but none of the conversations even sparked a smile, they just made me feel even more inadequate, even more useless and even more pointless. She was trying to help me, she was trying to break through the depression and remind me of all the things I love in life, all the things that usually make my heart sing, but all her words did was remind me of the mess that I have made of my life. Which hardly helped the vicious, all consuming depression I have found myself in over the last couple of months.

Meadhbh thinks I've lost my faerie sparkle...

Meadhbh thinks I’ve lost my faerie sparkle…

The simple fact of the matter is, I’m imploding. Even simple tasks like getting out of bed or having a shower are becoming impossible for me to achieve, let alone more complicated tasks like housework or grocery shopping. I know this is the depression. I know this is the mental health. But knowing doesn’t make it any easier. You can have all the knowledge in the world but it’s still not going to make life any easier. And I use that word loosely, for what I have at the moment isn’t a ‘life’. It’s an existence. I just go through the motions day after day, watching movies, watching DVDs, doing anything to pass the time until I can crawl into bed and stare at the ceiling for another eight hours. There is no excitement in my life, there is no happiness, there is nothing but pain, stress, misery and death fantasies.

And Vanessa is loving it. For the last two months Vanessa has been in her element because this is exactly the state she loves seeing me in. For years she has been adamant that I deserve nothing but pain in life, so now that my life is only about pain, she is salivating with excitement. Her words – as cruel and cutting as they always are – have complete control over me. Her abuse has been as constant as my unhappiness, gleefully pointing out how what is happening to me is my fault, that I have brought it on myself, that my pain is nothing but my own deserved creation. Meadhbh has taken issue with her, as she always does, and some of their fights over the last couple of months have been deafeningly epic. But I’ve been too tired, too devoid of energy, to do anything about it. So I just let them slug it out. Neither wins, of course, they never do, they just relish bickering with each other over their precious Addy. In the end, it’s just more noise for me to deal with. Between them and my neighbour (who gets noisier with each passing day) it’s a wonder I haven’t gone completely insane yet!

And as my depression deepens, so too does my social anxiety and PTSD. Things have gotten so bad on the social anxiety front that I haven’t been able to go to the supermarket for nearly a week. I’ve barely eaten anything over the last seven days as it’s easier for me to starve myself than deal with the stress and complications of being out in public. In fact, I’ve only been out the house three times in the last seven days; once to see my support worker, once to see my GP and once to return items to the library. The rest of the time I’ve been trapped in my house; being driven to rage by my incessantly noisy neighbour. As for my PTSD? Flashbacks, reliving and nightmares galore! Mostly it’s been about my abusive relationship (no change there) but my neighbour is also triggering my boarding house experiences, which is making me want to return to the safety and seclusion of life on the street.

And there is the crux of the issue. Things are so bad for me at the moment that I am actively considering ditching my apartment and returning to living on the streets. At least if I were to do that I could move back to Melbourne and be somewhere that I wanted to be; somewhere that my faerie sparkle would have a chance to shine, even if it were under a blanket in the middle of a desolate park. And that is something Vanessa would really love; as she has always believed I deserve nothing more than a life on the streets.

But until then I will continue to do the ‘right’ thing; seeking an appointment with a psychiatrist, seeing my support worker, attending my GP appointments, none of whom can do anything to alter my situation, none of whom can do anything to stop my mind from imploding. For, as I pointed out to Meadhbh yesterday, the only thing that can do that is for me to stop existing and start living; something that will never happen in my poverty-ravaged, stress-laden, Wodonga-trapped world.

 

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Update: So what am I doing about it?

Yesterday I outlined some of my current stressors; issues that are triggering my mental health into uncontrollable territory. It was a somewhat whiny, somewhat depressing post, but one that needed to be written. Life is hard for me at the moment, there is no joy, no happiness, no relaxation and no pleasure. I have virtually no energy and my loss of hope is making it difficult for me to keep fighting…but, as I have been for twenty-three years, I keep pushing myself.

First and foremost is my attempt to obtain psychiatric support, something I have been trying to obtain for the last six months. You would think this would be simple, that it would just be a case of contacting the local mental health service and – bam – I have a psychiatrist. But, as with everything in my life, nothing is ever that simple. The simple truth of the matter is Wodonga is a small town with only one public mental health service – and they dismissed me as not needing support in 2012, my first year in this town. The psychiatrist I saw back then treated me like crap, just as the psychiatrist I had seen prior to him treated me like crap. He believed (wrongly) that there was nothing wrong with me and that there was nothing the mental health service could do to assist me. He is the only psychiatrist available on the public health system in Wodonga. And I am not putting myself through another abusive psychiatrist appointment. Period. Thus, the only option I have when it comes to psychiatry, is the private sector.

For the last several months my support worker and I have been looking into this option. There are no psychiatrists in the Wodonga region that could help me, which means I have had to look further afield to Albury in order to obtain this support. And we have identified two potential candidates that may be able to help. Both are women (I am unable to see a male psychiatrist due to the misandry and distrust of men I have developed since my rape) and both have lengthy waiting lists. Also, because of the private nature of their service, I am going to have to pay to see them. But this is something I am willing to do (even if it means not eating for the week!)

Hopefully my six-months-and-counting effort in this aspect of my treatment will pay off soon. Whether I will be taken seriously is another matter. I don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to psychiatrists (because I am a high functioning bipolar sufferer they tend to believe I have too much insight into my illness and, therefore, am not suffering from anything) but I’m willing (and determined) to give it a go. Whatever the emotional and financial cost!

However, I am not naive enough to believe that a psychiatrist will solve all my problems. The simple fact of the matter is (as my post yesterday attested) I am currently navigating a minefield of triggers and stressors, all of which are negatively impacting on my mental health. And the simple fact of the matter is a whole army of psychiatrists and CPNs are not going to change the stressors I am dealing with.

And my neighbour is a major source of this stress.

The noise that my neighbour makes causes me stress twenty-four hours a day. It is incessant. It is continuous. It is mind-numbing. How am I supposed to fight mental illness when I cannot relax for even a millisecond in my own house? When you’re homeless you learn pretty quickly what a home really is. It is not just a roof over your head. It is a sanctuary; a place where you can feel secure, comfortable and safe. And the simple truth is that my neighbour, courtesy of his endless noise, has made my house an unsafe place to live. Two days ago, whilst my house was under attack from his wall shaking video games, I self harmed for the first time in nearly a year. A year of hard work and determination was undone in a matter of seconds because cutting myself was the only thing I could do to deal with the cacophony of noise that batters my conscience on a daily basis. And in the moment that the blade sliced through my flesh I realised once and for all I can no longer live under these conditions: I have to move; for my own sanity – for my own safety – I need to move.

I am not under the innocent belief that moving will solve all my problems (again, I am not that naive) but it will remove a dangerous trigger from my life that will make fighting my mental illness that much easier.

The same can be said for Wodonga as a whole.

My trip to Melbourne proved one thing: I hate Wodonga. It is a town that is bad for me. It is a town that is amplifying my mental illness and making it impossible to live the life that I want to live. There is nothing to do in this town. There are no distractions. No social options. No opportunities to live and breathe. The longer I live in this town, the worse my mental illness will become. Wodonga is a trigger. Pure and simple.

Now, some people may think I’m being over-the-top, that I’m allowing the relaxation of a holiday to control my feelings in this respect. Of course I was calm in Melbourne, I was on holiday, everyone is calm on holiday, yada yada yada. But consider this: my mental health in Wodonga is worse than when I was homeless in Melbourne. I was more stable living on the street than I have been over the last few years living in this town. Why? Because even though I was homeless, I was homeless somewhere I wanted to be.

And, as with my noisy neighbour, no amount of psychiatric support is going to change this. Even if I do manage to obtain a psychiatrist they will be facing a losing battle as their work will be quickly undone by the triggering nature of Wodonga.

They say you only live once, maybe they’re right, maybe they’re not, so why would you live your life in a town/city that amplifies your mental health and makes living a chore devoid of excitement, happiness and social interaction?

As I’ve said twice now, I’m not naive or innocent enough to believe that moving will fix all my problems, I’m not my sister, but it will help in my battle. So, over the last few weeks, I have been looking for new housing options both in Wodonga (to eradicate the problem of my noisy neighbour) and in Melbourne (to eradicate the problem of my pathological hatred of this town)

The simple fact is something must change in my living arrangements. And I am working hard to make that change a reality.

As for my other current triggers, to be honest, there is little I can do about them at this time. My physical health problems are being monitored by doctors so only time will tell how this aspect of my life will play out. The same can be said for my current anhedonia and death fantasies; neither are going away anytime soon and, as both are intrinsically linked to my mental health, I can only combat them as best I can. Perhaps a psychiatrist will assist in this respect. Perhaps not. But even though I’ve lost all hope for a better future, I have yet to stop fighting.

I am just trying to do the best I can with the little I’ve got.

What else can I reasonably expect to do?


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Update: A wound up ball of stress and negative energy

stress

Sorry I’ve been absent lately. Life has become something quite unbearable and has not, in any way, lent itself to heartwarming, inspirational blog posts. Ever since I returned from Melbourne back in August I’ve been a wound up ball of stress and negative energy, triggered by so many things that I have no idea how to calm myself down and relax again.

First, there’s my neighbour and his daily cacophony of sound. If it’s not metal music blasting the cobwebs from my walls it’s his incessant video game playing that makes it sound like my unit is under attack twenty-four hours a day. The only peace I receive from his wall of sound is the twenty minutes he’s out of the house each morning, the rest of the time, it’s just noise, noise, noise! I’ve tried talking to him, I’ve reported the problem to my landlord, but neither has brought any relief. He just seems to have no idea (or rather, doesn’t care) how noisy he is being. And it’s been driving me insane.

Secondly, is the ongoing frustration of living in abject poverty. I can’t afford to clothe myself properly. I can’t afford to feed myself properly. I am regularly having to choose between medication and food; so much so, that a few weeks ago I went eight days without any medication so I could have a proper meal or two. Whereas the following week, I re-stocked on medication, only to find myself unable to eat for five days. It’s difficult for people to understand just how stressful it is to live having to make such decisions. When your entire life revolves around the paucity of your bank balance. There is no money for fun, no money for entertainment, no money for anything other than the barest, most essential of items. Truth be told this has been getting to me for years, but as with all the other stressors in my life at the moment, there is little I can do about it. I am too mentally (and physically) unwell to work so I just have to make do. And I’m tired of just making do.

Thirdly, is my physical health. When I was in Melbourne I felt on top of the world. Full of energy. Full of vibrancy. But since returning, since the stress took complete control of my life, my physical health has dwindled. For the past two weeks I’ve been battling through a particularly uncomfortable period of constipation, which has now rotated into a particularly uncomfortable period of diarrhea (I know, TMI!) but that’s not the worst of it. Last week I experienced another bout of abdominal pain which has my GP worried that acute pancreatitis is making a comeback. Over the last week I’ve had blood tests, X-Rays and ultrasounds, all of which has revealed no problem, but my GP is so adamant in his diagnosis that I am paranoid he’s going to put me in hospital; and that’s something I can’t deal with at the moment. Although (aside from the diarrhea) I feel fine at the moment I am stressed to high heaven over the possibility of operations and another grueling hospital stay. Yet more to stress about.

Fourthly, is the nastiness that is anhedonia. Nothing – and I mean nothing – is bringing me pleasure at the moment. Not DVD marathons, not reading, not kinky fantasies, not sleeping, not blogging, not food, not even Doctor Who. Nothing that usually brings me pleasure is working. Nothing is making me laugh. Nothing is bringing a smile to my face. It is just a constant stream of unhappiness, boredom and displeasure. And it’s stressing me out. How can you exist in life when nothing brings you happiness? How can you exist in life when all your life is just an endless array of misery?

Finally, are the ongoing death fantasies that have been assaulting my mind. Ever since reaching my conclusion a few weeks ago I have been plagued with haunting vignettes of my death; hanging, overdoses, slashed wrists, drowning. You name it, I’ve fantasized about it. They are in equal parts frightening and calming; frightening because, deep down, I want to live; calming because, on the surface, death is the only release I can see from my current stress. I have no intention in the immediate future to end my life, but the longer this stress continues, the more suicidal I find myself becoming.

The simple fact of the matter is life has become meaningless. It has become an endless stream of stress, unhappiness and tension. I want to feel happy again. I want to smile and laugh and joke and play and feel like my old self again. But how can I do that when nothing counteracts the high stress I find myself in day after day? Sometimes I just want to sit in my house and enjoy the quiet; but I can’t, because of my neighbour. Sometimes I just want to be able to walk down the road without running to a public lavatory; but I can’t, because of the diarrhea. Sometimes I just want to treat myself to beautiful food; but I can’t, because of the abject poverty.

Everything in my life feels wrong at the moment. Where I live. What I do. How I survive. And I can’t see any end to it. That’s ultimately where the stress is coming from. Every day from today until the day I die is going to be the same; noise, stress and death fantasies. I can’t see an end to it. I can’t see a way out. In life, we need hope to survive. It’s what keeps us going. It’s what powers us to achieve our dreams day in, day out. And the simple fact of the matter is, I’ve lost mine. It’s gone. And I don’t know how to get it back.


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Day 21: Six of the best ways to reduce stress…

Day twenty-one of the 30 Days of Mental Illness Awareness Challenge asks
Many people say stress triggers symptoms, do you agree or disagree?

Stress

My breakdown occurred as a result of stress; the stress of an emotionally abusive relationship, the stress of returning to college as a mature age student, the stress of physical illness, the stress of being so far from home, the stress of not being able to open up about my history of mental illnesses.

When I am stressed, my anxiety explodes to levels that impair day-to-day functioning, the nightmares that haunt my sleep-time increase to unbearable levels and I am reduced (on an emotional level) to that of a scared, trembling child desperate for nurture and safety.

Stress and symptoms go hand in hand.

As do symptoms and stress.

When I am experiencing heavy symptoms – the volatile mood swings, the anxiety or panic attacks, the aforementioned nightmares, the urge to self-harm – my stress levels escalate, thus feeding the vicious cycle that has been my burden for the last twenty years of my life.

I’ve never found something that eases the stress completely. At times I’ve been able to control it, to reduce it to a ‘manageable’ level, but it is always there, bubbling beneath the surface, waiting to strike.

If I ever find a way to beat it, I’ll let you know. Until then, here are six of the best ways I’ve found to reduce stress:

1. Muscle relaxation

There are many different ways one can relax the various muscles in the human body, but the one that works best for me involves beginning at the feet and working all the way up through your muscle groups until you reach your head.

You begin by slowing your breathing and then, after breathing in, squeeze all the muscles in your feet for five seconds, and then breathe out. Whilst keeping regular breathing, you then repeat squeezing the muscles of your feet two more times before slowly working up your body – legs, buttocks, stomach, hands, arms, shoulders, neck, face – working each group of muscles three times each.

By the time you’ve finished your face, you should hopefully be a lot more relaxed than you were at the start!

2. Movie night!

We all have a favourite ‘comfort film’ (mine’s Tremors, by the way), so if you’re starting to feel your stress levels rise, why not curl up on the sofa and treat yourself to a movie night? Watching a treasured movie (or two, or three) can work wonders to reduce your stress levels!

3. Sex

The rush of endorphins that are released upon orgasm are a potent stress-buster, they aren’t called the body’s natural painkillers for no reason! So why not give your mattress (or carpet, kitchen table, whatever) a workout to help beat stress?

But if you – like me – are not lucky enough to have someone to enjoy this wonderful act with, you can always do it alone! After all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with bringing pleasure to yourself! :p

4. Exercise

If masturbation is not for you (!?) you can always head out and get some exercise. Whether it be a session down the gym, a jog along the beach or a bike ride through the mountains, exercise will release those very same endorphins that are released during sex. It’s just not quite as much fun!

5. Chocolate

And keeping on the endorphins theme…eating chocolate can also cause those happy little endorphins to rush around your beautiful body, it just might take an unholy amount of chocolate to cause the same amount that exercise or sex will release!

6. Colouring in

It doesn’t matter if you’re a twenty-something Uni student or a fifty-something CEO, there is something immensely relaxing in cracking out the crayons and channeling your inner child. Don’t believe me? Why not go grab yourself a colouring book (or print out the image(s) below) and give it a try…I guarantee it will help de-stress you! :)

Do you have any tips or tactics that help de-stress you? Feel free to share them below… :)


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Ten inspirational self-esteem quotes

It’s time you had a time out

Contemporary life can, at times, be somewhat stressful.

We fill our lives with Twitter, Facebook, the need for twenty-four hour a day contact and blogging. There’s traffic congestion, inbox congestion, nasal congestion and artery congestion. The eternal quest to eradicate wrinkles, lines, body hair and blemishes. Does my bum look big in this? Does my cleavage look too small in this? Does my toe look like it has a fungal infection in this? There’s the endless balance between work, home, family, friends and random strangers. Electricity, food, medication, gas, water, rates, taxes…those bloody taxes! Every day of our lives is an endless stream of stress and tension, relieved only when we chance upon some time for sex, cuddles, massages and cunnilingus. But only if we’re lucky enough to have them.

And then there’s physical health, and mental health, and emotional health, and at some point we need to stop.

Breath.

And take a time out.

This week has been such a week for me. I’ve tried to balance the mood swings, the loneliness, the insomnia and anxiety as best I can, all whilst undertaking exercises to increase positive thought and work toward better self-esteem. I’ve sought support (no change yet), completed dozens of forms, argued with Centrelink and found little joy in the long, cold nights.

There have been triggers galore trying to sabotage me, rivers of tears trying to humiliate me and flashbacks aplenty to some of the most traumatic, painful moments of my life. There has been servings of victim guilt, survivor guilt and man guilt mixed liberally with grief, sadness, worry and a pinch of depression with a heavy dollop of isolation.

So today, I am leading by example, and choosing to stop. Because if I don’t, my mental health will collapse and my self-esteem with it.

Although I cannot advise you on how and when you should stop – as you know your life and mind better than I – please take some time to work this out for yourself. I cannot say it strongly enough, but one of the key things with building self-esteem is knowing yourself. Of being aware of your triggers, of your moods and the balance with everything that makes up your life.

When you have the courage to pause and admit you need some time to relax away, to remove the stress and focus on joy, you’re well on your way to better self-esteem.

So for today there are no exercises, no lists, no technical worksheets requiring work and thought. There is only me, telling you to go and do something nice. Run yourself a bath, cuddle with your loved one, eat some ice-cream, go for a walk, pet your dog, phone a friend.

It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it puts a beautiful, calming smile on your beautiful, worthy face.

Inspirational self-esteem quotes

 


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Eleven (Slightly Odd) Ways to Reduce Stress

In honor of the fact that it’s Lifeline’s Stress Down Day, I present to you eleven (slightly odd) ways in which you can reduce the stress in your life.


1. Watch an episode of Glee (or if you have the time, enjoy a Glee marathon)
As I perused my Facebook profile recently I noticed someone made the following comment in regards to this show “Everything about it just makes me happy,” and they are absolutely right. Rigorous scientific study has shown that if you do not feel happy whilst watching this show then you officially need to throw on a tin suit and skip off to see the wizard.

If you doubt this perfectly valid way to combat stress, I dare you to watch the clip below and not feel your troubles just slide away like hot butter from a knife:

2. Just pick up a pen and start writing…
To be honest it doesn’t matter what you write with nor does it matter what words you do, all that matters is that you write whatever you feel like writing – even if that’s repeating the word “wibble” across an entire sheet of A4.

Sure, the “wibble” approach wouldn’t work quite as well as jotting down your feelings so that you can gain some perspective on what’s bothering you, but it’s such a brilliant and random word I don’t think anyone could say it aloud without cracking a grin.

Repeat after me:

Wibble,

See?

3. Learn how to say “no”…
One of the shortest words in the human language and worth only a couple of points if played outside of special squares on scrabble. Yet it’s one few people ever use. Day in, day out, people agree to take on more things rather than admit that they just don’t have time to do them.

We’re not superheroes, so sometimes we need to casually turn things down if taking them on means overloading our minds to the point of collapse.

4. Dance! Even if you end up looking like Matt Smith in The Big Bang

This tip taps into the innate love of dancing that all human’s share. Whether you’re doing the slightly uncomfortable daddy-two-step-shuffle or pulling off an intricate routine of ‘Single Ladies’, the mere act of dancing releases all forms of stress and frustration. It is in fact akin to getting totally inebriated.

So, if you have a tendency toward being embarrassed, pop off to the toilet cubicle and have a bit of a bogle to Aswad where no-one can see you.

If on the other hand you’re one of these really annoying extroverted souls, gather together a flash mob and whip out your best routine in the middle of your local shopping centre.

Alternatively, if you have no idea how to dance at all, here are some you could try:

5. Pretend you’re the Doctor…
This may not work for everyone, it will really only work if you’re a fan of the greatest television series of all time (so if you’re not, what the hell are you thinking?)…but it might be worth a shot if none of the other tips work.

It’s simple, if you’re feeling stressed, just re-enact your favourite Doctor scenes and pretend you’re saving the universe from total extinction.

Just be sure not to be doing this in public otherwise you:

(a) Run the risk of people believing that there is an actual Dalek invasion under way, which will cause all manner of stress to these people.
or
(b) Run the risk of creating more stress for yourself as people watch on in scared confusion at the lunatic in front of them.

Note: you could replace “the Doctor” in the title of this tip with characters you may love and admire, for example: ‘Pretend you’re Jane Lynch’ or ‘Pretend you’re Han Solo’ or even ‘Pretend you’re one of the Aliens from Toy Story’. But why on earth would you want to do any of those when you could just pretend you’re the Doctor?

6. Talk to Someone…
So obvious that it’s barely worth mentioning, but quite often it’s the obvious which people overlook, so I will. There is nothing better for combating stress than sitting down for a nice hot chocolate and a spanish donut with a friend.

Granted the hot chocolate and spanish donut are optional, but they will help with the whole ‘combating stress’ part of the equation. No-one can eat a spanish donut without feeling blissfully good afterwards.


7. There’s always the obvious – sex…

With this one, you and your honey strip naked and then…you know what, I’m not even going to explain this for it could get icky. Rigorous scientific studies have shown that sex helps with every stressful thought you could possibly be feeling – as long it’s consensual! If it’s not, don’t ever talk to me.

8. The ‘No, not yet, please not yet…fine, you %$*&)#@!I’ll scream into a pillow while you fall into a blissful satisfied sleep’ Method...
A tried and true approach practised by girlfriends and wives the world over. It’s simple (and less likely to result in bruised/dismembered body parts):

  • Pick up a pillow.
  • Press it firmly against your mouth.
  • Scream as loud as you can.

Note: Be careful not to scream for too long otherwise there may be unintended suffocation, which wouldn’t be good. Nope, nope, nope.

9. Crack out a bath bomb and have a soak…
Good for girls and boys. If you’re feeling stressed there’s nothing like a nice hot bath to ease your troubles and woes away. Fill the tub, whip off those clothes and throw yourself into a bombed hot bath. There’s nothing like sitting there as the effervescence fizzes away filling the soothing water with a beautiful aroma. It also  feels funny when close to your skin, so that’ll help with giggles, but I won’t go there.

Once the bomb has fully evaporated just lie back, maybe nibble on the strawberries dipped in chocolate your boyfriend is feeding you (if he’s not, he should be) and feel the tension drift away.

10. Have a massage…
This tip works wonders if used immediately after suggestion 8, so once you’re done in the bath get your boy/girlfriend to give you an all over massage and then lie in blissful contentment for the rest of the night.

11. Embrace your inner child in a field of fallen leaves…
This one is brilliant and guaranteed to work every time. If you’re feeling a bit stressed head to your nearest park where you’re definitely going to have a sea of fallen crunchy leaves to jump/run/fall/crush/play with and then have at it! Forget all your adulty woes and troubles and reconnect with your inner child, go mental with those wonderful crisp leaves just ripe for the crushing.

Note: This tip will really only work in Autumn.

Note: Please, for the love of all things small and spiny, watch out for hedgehogs! They love hibernating in big piles of crunchy leaves just as much as you enjoy jumping/running/falling/crushing/playing with them. A flattened hedgehog will only result in a great deal more stress, a flattened mammal and a lot of hedgehoggy goo on your once awesome pair of shoes.

Further Information:

‘Lifeline: Stress Down Day’ Official Website

‘Lifeline’ Official Website

Lifeline Australia Telephone Number:
13 11 14

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