All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

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Saturday 9: Better late than never!

Saturday 9 is a weekly blogging meme hosted by Crazy Sam Winters (she added the crazy, not me!).

Every Saturday there will be nine questions – sometimes they will be around a common theme, other times completely random – to be answered however we like. Given this week’s was posted late I’ve decided to whizz through these questions otherwise I risk today’s blog becoming a little samey (given my recently posted Sunday Stealing questionnaire)!

An otter; gorgeous, expert swimmers, deliciously cute and vicious as hades!

1. If you could experience any life form that was not a human of your sex, what would you pick and why?

I would like to be an otter; gorgeous, expert swimmers, deliciously cute and vicious as hades.

Or a turtle; slow, steady, dedicated, loves carrots and no-one questions when they pop into their shell when they get scared.

Or a wombat; built like  tank, spends all day sleeping and all night moseying around basking in its own awesomeness.

Also, I wouldn’t mind being a woman. Not to fondle my breasts or squeeze my buttocks as Hollywood lazy-writing may have you belive, but so I could experience life from the point of view of the female gender. And given I’ve been regularly told I think like a woman, emote like a woman and occasionally act like a woman, I think I’d be pretty good at it. Plus, women have always had a much better selection of underwear than men (something I’ve always been jealous of as plain coloured boxers just get boring after a while!)

2. Do you believe in the American Dream or has it passed through time?

Given I live down under, the American Dream is something I’ve never thought all that much about. The Australian Dream is dead and buried; house prices are extortionate, cost of living is increasing on a minute by minute basis and unless you’re a white, beautiful, middle class and wealthy, no-one gives a damn about you!

This country is not the place I fell in love with ten years ago.

3. It’s been asked before, probably weekly, but what’s irritating you today?

My mood. My mind. My anxiety.

It’s all been going haywire recently and I’m finding it harder to cope and focus on anything and everything.

4. What do you think you’ll end up looking like? (A picture would help.)

Sooner or later I’ll be dead and buried and my decomposing body seeping into the soil to nourish the plant life around me. I’d like to think my nutrients will help create an awesome looking tree like this one :)

5. Has anyone told you that you could not do something?

My abuser told me I was the most useless and worthless human being on the planet. According to her I couldn’t do anything, least of all the things I loved and were proud of myself for; my writing, my photography, my selflessness and the work I’d done at the hostel.

The sad thing is, because of abuse trauma and lack of support, I believed her. However much I don’t want to.

6. Is there anybody dead that you’d like to talk to?

Aside from Stephanie (to say sorry), Rachel (to ask why) and Sammi (because she was always so fun to talk to) I wouldn’t mind sitting down for a chat with George Mackay Brown, a flirtatious dinner date with Audrey Hepburn or a riotous evening of fun with Jon Pertwee.

Screenshot of Audrey Hepburn from the film Charade

Audrey Hepburn (from the film Charade)

7. Have you ever done volunteer work?

Yes. I’ve volunteered at soup vans in the past, as well as other organisations to help with homelessness and those society have forgotten about. I’ve also volunteered for mental health organisations, charity organisations and conservation initiatives. Just not for a while.

8. Have you ever walked away from a job and regretted it?

Yes. But, at the time I was deeply depressed and quit the job in order to kill myself. However much I regret the decision I know I wasn’t in a rational frame of mind at the time so try to keep self-criticism to a minimum in this instance. I just wish other people could understand that.

9. How did you find Saturday 9?

Whilst nonchalantly browsing the net looking for memes and prompts to inspire writer’s block I came across the Saturday 9 blog and decided why not?

Lula kicked my ass

Lula kicked my ass (Photo credit: TheeErin)