All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…


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Saturday 9: Winter…so much sexier than summer!

Saturday 9 is a weekly blogging meme hosted by Crazy Sam Winters (she added the crazy, not me!).

Every Saturday there will be nine questions – sometimes they will be around a common theme, other times completely random – to be answered however we like.

very brady sequel

I’ve never seen a single episode of The Brady Bunch…I have however seen A Very Brady Sequel!

1) The best known Brady Bunch song is, of course, the show’s theme. Do you know the lyrics?

I’ve said it before and at some point in time (unless I get off my arse and actually track down the DVD) I’ll say it again: I’ve never seen a single episode of The Brady Bunch.

However, I have seen the The Brady Bunch Movie and A Very Brady Sequel (the latter being another guilty pleasure of mine) but I’ve no idea how the theme tune goes.

2) The Bradys were a blended family. Do you have stepparents, stepchildren or stepsibs?

Not that I’m aware of.

3) Samantha admits that, when she was 12, she taped Greg Brady’s photo over her bed. Before you judge her too harshly, come clean yourself. Did you have a major pre-teen crush? Who was it?

Given this week has been Fun and Games week on my blog, how could I resist the opportunity to put together another wee game? Below are six pictures of pre-teen crushes (what? I was a passionate man, even back then)…can you name them all (or any) of them? :p

Crushes

Anyone who correctly identifies the ‘bottom-middle’ crush earns the right to be called awesome!

4) Which TV character do you wish lived next door?

I wouldn’t mind living next door to Lily and Marshall from How I Met Your Mother, I think that would prove quite entertaining!

And if I was to notice a Police Telephone Box parked inconspicuously at the end of my road…well, that wouldn’t be all that bad either! :p

5) It’s a sunshine day! Describe your sunglasses.

Prescription sunglasses are inordinately expensive and I just can’t afford them, so alas, no sunglasses for Addy! :(

6) You’re on a 90-minute flight. How will you spend the time? Do you read a book? A magazine? Look out the window? Take a nap?

The only times I’ve  done a 90-minute flight I used my Nintendo DS to pass the time.

In fact, on the first occasion, I began an epic game of Germ War (a Tetris like mini-game) that spanned the flight, three hours in Glasgow and a train ride to Fort William!

As a general rule, I will only fly when there is no other alternative, even these short-hop flights.

7) Do you have a favorite brand of toothpaste?

No. They’re all pretty much the same anyway.

8) How many keys are on your key ring?

Four; front door, back door, bike lock and a mystery key that opens the door to a magical realm populated by sexy Eskimos, talking Elks and ninja wombats.

(Note: I may be lying about one of those keys in order to make this question even remotely interesting!)

9) What do you miss about summertime?

NOTHING!

It’s been four months of constant sun, blistering heat (mid 30s to mid 40s, in fact we’ve  only had two days below thirty in 2013!) and virtually no rain (from 6 Jan to 27 Feb it didn’t rain once; not even a drop!)

And given my local council’s insane decision to close the old swimming pool whilst they build a new swimming pool – which they promised would be open before Summer, only it wasn’t – the residents of my town haven’t even had a pool to cool down in. Thus, no sly perving on bikini-clad woman to make the summer bareable! ;)

Bring on winter! And Eskimo jackets!

Now!

willow_the_eskimo_by_riley_dei-d5acru9

Winter…so much sexier than summer! ;)

 


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Day 03: What kind of person are you attracted to?

celebrity crushes_1-tileIn all honesty, I’ve always disliked questions like this; purely because there is no one type of person that I’m attracted to.

Casting a cursory glance over some of the celebrities I crush on (Karen Gillan, Vanessa Hudgens, Helen Mirren, Anjli Mohindra, Mary Lynn Rajskub and Lenora Crichlow) reveals a range of ages, colours and nationalities. Even comparing the women I’ve been in relationships with – and those whom I could have been in relationships with – reveal very few physical similarities.

In fact, the only thing they all have in common, is the only thing that attracts me to someone; their ‘energy’.

So however ‘new age’ that answer may sound, and however much it may make everyone groan, it’s really the only one I have.

When I first met Louise on that windswept Hebridean Island, I loved that she was shamelessly wearing every item of clothing she possessed to combat a cold she wasn’t used to. Many would have been too embarrassed or insecure to do such a thing, but not her. I loved that, hours after having met, upon hearing me sigh ‘fuck me’ under my breath (as an expression of exhaustion and my desire to retire to bed) she responded with a whispered ‘yes, please’; completely (and naughtily) aware I would hear her.

It was a similar confident, self-assured intelligence that drew me toward Kathy, Diane, Annie and Rachel. All are/were woman who knew exactly who they were and steadfastly defended their opinions and beliefs.

For example, Samantha, unlike me, had pushed past the insecurities of her sexual proclivity and embraced it. She didn’t care about what other people thought, whether they considered her ‘evil’, ‘repulsive’ or ‘an enemy to feminists’. She cared only about being true to herself and the desires that burned within her.

So if you came here hoping I would be waxing lyrical over my love of a woman’s eyes, writing reams of text describing my passion for the female posterior or concocting some fantasized wish list for my ‘perfect’ (i.e. doesn’t exist) woman, I’m sorry to disappoint you.

The simple truth is, all the women I’ve been attracted to – be it on a platonic or sexual level – have all been strong, intelligent, driven human beings. Women who refuse to be bound by the sexist demands of society and are not afraid to fight for all they believe in. The sort of women that men’s rights extremists (MREs) seem to be so afraid of.

 

Tomorrow: What I wear to bed?
(where we’ll find out if I can turn such a simple question into an interesting and insightful post!)


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10 Secrets…

In a strange moment of decisive thinking I’ve called it quits on the 30 Day Challenge. Given that I missed days, skipped days and re-ordered days there’s no way I can call that endeavour a success, so rather than dwell on failure I’m immediately beginning a new challenge that will carry me through to the end of October.

Given that most of my big secrets have been revealed  over the years, all that are left are rather random…

1. When I was fourteen I stole £10 from my Dad’s wallet in order to purchase a video game.

2. I love – with an intense and fiery passion – the movie A Very Brady Sequel.

3. Yet, I have never seen an episode of The Brady Brunch.

4. I have never drunk an entire cup of coffee.

5.  I’ve had an (unrequited) crush on Lego Catwoman for the last four years!

6. I hated The Sixth Sense so much that upon exiting the cinema I loudly announced the ending to the entire queue waiting for the next screening of the film. They weren’t too happy about that :p

7. On the last day of school I hid a fish in the ceiling of a classroom knowing no-one would find it for months.

8. Whilst rushing to get ready for work one morning I put on my girlfriend’s underwear by mistake. Surprisingly comfortable they were too :p

9. I’ve never seen Casablanca.

 10. When I was sixteen I was still feeling guilty about stealing the £10 from my dad’s wallet two years earlier…so I slipped £20 into his wallet without telling him.