All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…


Day 10: One confession

The final day of the 10 Day Blogging Challenge asks for one confession.


Many years ago, when I but a wee young thing cycling around the city of Melbourne, my (allegedly) slow cycling speed earned the ire of another cyclist. In my opinion, I didn’t think I was cycling abnormally slowly, I was just merrily trundling along the city street on my way to do a spot of shopping in the CBD. But he was adamant that I wasn’t cycling fast enough, so began yelling at me to “speed up” whilst incessantly ringing his bell and hurling expletives in my general direction. In order to cessate his anger I, on numerous occasions, rode closer to the curb in order to give him ample room to overtake, which he never did.

This flow of abuse carried on until we were both stopped by a red light. This incensed him even more, as he demanded to know why I’d forced him to slam on his brakes and risk running into the back of my ‘crappy little bike’. I pointed out that it was customary to stop at red lights, to which he responded with yet more expletives and rode on through the red light, weaving precariously through the (abruptly stopping) oncoming traffic.

Shaking my head at his idiocy (and insolence) I carried on cycling when the light turned green and tried to put the whole unpleasant event out of my mind. However, the abuse he’d been hurling had triggered my social anxiety and no matter how hard I tried to relax, found it impossible to do so. After a couple of stressful hours perusing the shops I was returning to my bicycle, still frustrated by this man’s actions, when I noticed his bike was chained up a few yards away from me.

What possessed me to do what I did next still escapes me. Normally I’m not the sort of man to allow his anger to overwhelm his actions, nor am I the sort of person to seek revenge for crimes committed against me, but I couldn’t get past the simple fact that this man’s actions had ruined my day. So I glanced around, wandered over to the man’s bike and nonchalantly let down both of his tyres before continuing on my merry way with a mischievous grin on my face.

Now, I’d like it to be known in the telling of this story that I’m not advocating people allow their anger to control their actions. What I did that day was wrong. It was irresponsible, immature, downright childish and just a wee bit naughty.

But boy, was it satisfying! :p