All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…


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16 Things I do when I’m alone…

First things first, should I avoid any mention of the obvious? Third things second, given I spend my days alone I do everything alone, so this post shouldn’t be all that difficult to write. Second things last, to narrow the topic down I will describe sixteen things I’ve done today.

1. Slept for eight hours!

Given I’d had about six hours in the last thirteen days, waking up after eight solid hours of sleep was as close to bliss as I’ll ever get.

2. Cleaned the oven

Contrary to popular mainstream media fed opinion I’m a kick ass house cleaner. Possibly latent OCD, possibly latent feminine chromosomes, I clean the house most days and the oven at least once a week. It’s satisfying, therapeutic and slightly disturbing.

3. Got lost in Officeworks

I thought the spiral bound notebooks were opposite the highlighter pens. The next thing I know I’m in printer cartridge territory. Ten minutes later, after a meander through Mousedom and the Kingdom of Ikearipoff I found the highlighters, only the spiral bound notebooks were nowhere to be found. Looking like a rabbit uncertain of where he’d left his lettuce, a female shop assistant approached asking if she could help so I fell back on my standard no thanks, I’m just browsing and then spent another five minutes looking at keyboards whilst I tried to get my bearings.

4. Had a panic attack in the Officeworks car park

I don’t deal well with crowds. I’d thought Officeworks would have been a little quiet given the weather today…but no! It was overcrowded with stationary fetishists like me; cue a quick escape and a little cowering in the corner of a car park until I was stable enough to retreat home.

5. Toe-tapped to Cloud Cult

6. Wrote a blog post

Granted I wrote my Saturday 9 post…and the one you’re reading…but the one I refer to here is one you will see later in the week.

7. Thought about Vanessa Hudgens

I blamethank the Saturday 9 for this. There I was, nonchalantly completely some random questions when TMZ gets mentioned and my head is suddenly full of random paparazzi photographs of Ms Hudgens in a bikini.

Could I get rid of them? Hell no. Cue…

8. *censored*

I’m a passionate and creative man who’s tired of being alone so whatever happiness I can squeeze from life I shall not apologise for :p

9. Browsed the internet

Choice picks:

This photograph from Broken Light: A Photography Collective
This humourous column from The Age: Let me tell ya ’bout the birds and the bees, and a thing called SEX!
This photograph from thoughts of a lunatic
This blog: Struggling with BPD
This photograph from Joy and Woe

10. Ate Vegemite on toast

There is only one thing better than starting your day with Vegemite on toast. And that thing isn’t Marmite on toast.

11. Had a good cry

Under normal circumstances I don’t cry any more, but after two weeks of mood swings, bottled up stress, massive triggers and memory overload on top of the constant loneliness and longing for company, it doesn’t surprise that around 3pm a simple coincidence caused me to just collapse and have a good weep.

Masculine, nope. Therapeutic, yep.

12. Cleaned the bathroom

Like I said…housework = therapy, relaxation, satisfaction. After the cry I needed to take my mind off the emotion. Cue Toilet Duck!

13. Sung Backwards Walk by Frightened Rabbit (as if no-one could hear me!)

14. Wrote an email

Which I shall never send.

I quite often do this for a number of reasons: therapy, release, fill my time, boredom. Mostly it’s because I have something I want to say.

15. Realised I have the perfect photo for this week’s WordPress Photo Challenge but can’t post it so became really annoyed!

As soon as I saw the theme was ‘solitary’ a photo I took years ago popped into mind. It’s long been one of my favourite photographs and even though it hurts to look at it, I still cherish it to this day. I even titled it “solitude” long before I saw this week’s challenge topic.

FYI: The reason I can’t post is because it’s of someone from my past and I don’t want to use a photo of them without their knowledge.

16. Imparted the following words of wisdom to my wonderful readers:

Tomorrow: 15 Things I like to do…