All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

Index of My Journey with Kink

In September 2012 I wrote a comment in reply to an article published on an internationally acclaimed webpage:

The desire to define a person’s personality from a single sexual interest is merely an extension of society’s wider infatuation with labeling.

The unemployed are lazy, unmotivated, bludgers.

Homeless people are uneducated, alcoholic, drug addicts.

Generation Y are all self-absorbed, apathetic, narcissists.

BDSM aficionados are all violent, victims of childhood abuse who are unable to connect on an intimate level.

All of which are patently untrue and a lazy attempt to reduce complicated – often misunderstood – personalities to a series of simplified stereotypes.

In all the relationships I’ve been in, upon opening up about my spanking fetish, I was labeled everything from ‘disgusting’ and ‘perverted’ through to ‘grotesque’ and ‘evil’

And by evil I don’t mean a playful ‘you’re a wicked, naughty boy’ evil. I mean ‘Satan has a quick coffee with Hitler and they decide to join forces with the Daleks’ evil!

Suddenly I was into whips, chains, gimp masks and suspending myself from the ceiling with piano wire. Every stereotype that exists of the BDSM community became the only thing my significant other(s) would see. Regardless of my explanations that, while not making me queasy, they are things I have no discernible interest in.

And, not unlike the mentality of a homosexual detox camp, it was decided I needed to be purged of these insidious consensual spanking desires for the good of my soul. It was never to be discussed, never to be explored and never to be mentioned under any circumstances.

Courtesy of those unreasonable stereotypes, in their minds my desire for the occasional consensual spanking was not only abhorrent, but the singular defining aspect of my being, whereas in reality, it is merely one multi-coloured thread in the rich tapestry of my personality.

Something that will never be understood until we stop reducing complex issues into facile stereotypes and begin broadening our understanding over the diversities of life.

You can read the original article here if you don’t believe me…

The reason I have bolded the line ‘upon opening up about my spanking fetish‘ is because writing those words marked a turning point in my life. This was the first time I had ever admitted publicly that I have a passion for spanking; a passion that was never my choice, as I firmly believe I was born with it.

It is something I would never consider doing on this blog (aside from the obvious references that are littered throughout multiple posts) because several members of my family are known to read my writing  – and my love of spanking is something that I would prefer to keep hidden.

Each of the posts that make up My Journey with Kink deal primarily with consensual spanking. So if you are coming here for the first time and find this topic not to your interest, it is entirely up to you whether you continue reading onwards. In each of the articles I write in the same style that I do with my regular posts; sharing my life, experiences, thoughts and desires as openly and honestly as I can, always pushing myself toward a better understanding of who I am and how everything in our lives is connected.

There is no set order for the posts but I would suggest Fifty Shades of Addy as a starting point. This post chronicles the development of my spanking desires and relates fifty important events throughout the evolution of this aspect of my personality.

If there’s anything you’d like me to explore further, or simply have a few questions or comments, feel free to send them my way and I’ll answer them as best I can.



15 July 2015: Black and Blue (A Short Story)
10 July 2015: Butt is it Art or Porn III: The Spanking Art Edition
22 December 2013: One Day in Glasgow
December 2013: I finally complete the ‘30 Days of Kink‘ Challenge (woohoo!)
31 August 2013: Excalibur (A Short Story)

Personal Writing

Fifty Shades of Addy
A post that looks at the evolution of my spanking desires and how I’ve tried to accept them as something to celebrate rather than a part of my personality that should be feared and reviled.

One Night in Adelaide
Whilst manic in Adelaide I met a woman named Samantha. This post recounts my hazy memories of that night and the beginning of a short-lived, but beautiful, friendship.

One Day in Glasgow
A few months after meeting Samantha in Adelaide she contacted me via Facebook asking if I was the person who had throughly entertained her on that random, manic night; although it took a bit of persuading, I finally succumbed and admitted I was. This sparked several months of online friendship that saw us dissect, discuss and revel in our shared love of consensual spanking and corporal punishment. After several failed attempts to meet up in real-life, we were finally able to synch our calendars for an unforgettable twenty-four hours in the Scottish city of Glasgow. This post, a collection of freewritten memories of that day, includes five password protected posts that detail the realisation of Samantha’s lifelong spanking dream.

Memory 01: First glances
Memory 02: Excessive Ogling
Memory 03: Just focus on my eyes
Memory 04: Tangerine
Memory 05: The bookshop
Memory 06: I could stay like this forever
Memory 07: (Un)Common People
Memory 08: Ladybugs
Memory 09: Ninety-three minutes
Memory 10: Her lifelong dream
Memory 11: Snuggles
Memory 12: The morning after
Memory 13: Don’t you want to stand?
Memory 14: You taste like sausage and egg mcmuffin
Memory 15: Last Hurrah

Fictional Writing

This story was written around the months of April/May 2010 whilst I was sleeping rough in Melbourne. During that somewhat brutal and bleak period of my life, I would often retreat into the world of erotica/consensual-spanking fiction in order to escape the chaos and pain that reigned in my life. The story was originally published on a now defunct blog I used to write under a pseudonym and is now published here because, well, to be honest, I kinda like it! :)

Black and Blue
This story was written around the months of April/May 2010 whilst I was sleeping rough in Melbourne. During that somewhat brutal and bleak period of my life, I would often retreat into the world of erotica/consensual-spanking fiction in order to escape the chaos and pain that reigned in my life. The story was originally published on a now defunct blog I used to write under a pseudonym and is now published here because, well, to be honest, I kinda like it! :)

Butt is it art or porn?

In the Butt is it Art or Porn? series I ask the important question. Is the photography/drawing of the human form and sexual experience art or is it porn? It’s up to you to decide…

Butt is it Art or Porn I
Butt is it Art of Porn II
Butt is it Art or Porn III: The Spanking Art Edition

30 Days of Kink

In November 2012 I undertook a 30 Days of Kink blog challenge that examined various aspects of my spanking fetish. I finally completed the challenge in December 2013…but better late than never!

01: Dom, sub, switch? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
02: List your kinks.
03: How did you discover you were kinky?
04: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hinted at your kinks?
05: What was your first kinky sexual experience?  If you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.
06: Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.
07: What’s your favorite toy?
08: Post a kinky image you find erotic.
09: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.
10: What are your hard limits?
11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?
12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.  If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.
13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you?  Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?
14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?  If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?
15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.
16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves?  If so, what are they?
19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they?
20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.
21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)
22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy?  How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?
23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed?  How so?
24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?
25: How open are you about your kinks?
26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?
27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?
28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play?  What significance does your attire have to you?
29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)?  What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?
30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Thirteen Reasons Why

#1: Naïve is something I am not

“With all I’ve been through, all I’ve experienced. With the battles fought and sacrifices made. I know enough about life to not look upon it through rose-tinted glasses. Long ago I learnt that reality is far from fantasy; the former full of pain, filth and overpowering emotion, the latter full of love, ecstasy and pristine perfection.

I know that being spanked will hurt. I also know it will hurt more than I expect it to. I know this because I fear it.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s