All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

Things To Say to Someone Suffering from Depression

Okay, not sure if I’ll be able to get 100 of them this time…but we’ll see how we go.

  1. “Hey, remember, you’re not insane/crazy/mad,”
  2. “I love you,” [only and I repeat only if you mean it!]
  3. “You are important to me…”
  4. I care,” [if ya mean it!]
  5. “If you ever needed a friend…” [and mean it]
  6. “I can’t really understand exactly what it is you’re feeling, but you have my support and compassion if you need it,”
  7. “Don’t say anything, just hold my hand,”
  8. “My shoulder is here if you needed one to cry on,”
  9. “When all this is over I will still be here – and so will you,” [again, only if you mean it!]
  10. “I’m not going to abandon you,”
  11. “I love you for who you are,” [Why? Because depressed people have trouble loving themselves, duh! They feel unworthy of it!]
  12. “You’re such a beautiful/lovely/wonderful/awesome/sexy/great/passionate/spankable/ etc… etc… person,” [not repeatedly, but reassuring a depressed person of their forgotten positive attributes can help them 100 times more than continual criticism as this is just reinforcing their own criticisms]
  13. “If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know,”
  14. [Don’t say anything – just LISTEN – don’t advise, preach or lecture. Hear what the person is saying to you because they might not be looking for advice, they may just be looking to get something off their chest]

    And in my opinion the three best things you can say to someone who is depressed:
  15. “I am your friend and I am here for you if you need anything,” [as long as you mean it]
  16. “You are not alone in this,”
  17. [This is soooooo easy everyone forgets about it!] “Do you want a hug?”

The best – and I mean BEST – advice that I can give is to acknowledge the depression for what it is, and not as something the person has bought on themselves and please give them permission to feel depressed; it isn’t their fault, they don’t want to be!

The biggest temptation when you find out someone is depressed is to immediately leap in and fix the problem expecting results in a matter of hours, days or weeks without even understanding what they are going through.

Do not become their pseudo-therapist unless they have given you the permission to!

And never, I repeat NEVER, befriend someone who is depressed solely to fix them if you do not like them as a person!
Now…check out the list of things which you should NOT say!

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2 thoughts on “Things To Say to Someone Suffering from Depression

  1. I am suffering from depression,
    My marriage have broken,
    Please give some help or advise

    Like

    • Hi.

      I’m sorry to hear things are difficult for you at the moment. Just know that they’ll not always be like this and there are a lot of people out there who can help. Although I’m not a mental health professional, I have been through similar situations so can only offer advice based on my own experiences.

      Do you have any medical support from GPs or a mental health team? If you don’t, this is the best place to start. I highly recommend you speak to a doctor about your depression as they will be able to help with medication (if needed) and/or refer you to a mental health service who will be able to help with what you’re going through.

      Aside from seeking medical support, don’t punish yourself for how you’re feeling and try to make an effort to do something nice for yourself each day – even if that’s just going for a short walk or taking some time to watch a film you love or CD you adore. If you have a close friend you trust and feel comfortable with, consider talking to them about your depression (if you haven’t already) as having people around at times like this can work wonders.

      Just remember that there are many people going through simliar situations so you are not alone, and they will help however they can, myself included :)

      Kind Regards,
      Addy

      Like

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