All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…


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Music for Monday: Here Come the Sirens ’cause Babe, I’m on Fire

The thirty-day song challenge continues with two songs that remind me of things both good and bad.

A song that reminds me of summer

Here Come the Sirens | My Friend the Chocolate Cake

As I am about to enter another blistering Australian summer, my mind has been drifting to a song I discovered during my first summer in this sun-baked land. Here Come the Sirens, more than any other song, reminds me of the grotesque summer months in this otherwise tolerable land.

I lay back in the room with dark red curtains,
Wake up to the trucks outside my door,
Short of sleep.
And the sky tonight it’s a deadly one,
It hardly lets us breath,”

A song that reminds me of my best friend

Babe I’m on Fire | Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Why this song reminds me of my now sadly deceased best friend, Samantha, is a little too personal to share in a non-password protected post. Needless to say, it was one of the greatest fifteen minutes of my life and this is one of my favourite pieces of music of all time! :p

The man going hiking says it
The misunderstood Viking says it
The man at the rodeo
And the lonely old Eskimo says
Babe, I’m on fire
Babe, I’m on fire”


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Music for Monday: A Cyndi Lauper double-bill!

The thirty day song challenge continues with a Cyndi Lauper double-bill to kickstart your week with a smile (and a tear!)

A song that makes me want to dance

Girls Just Want To Have Fun | Cyndi Lauper

I’m not sure why this song makes me want to dance so much, but make me dance it does! Over the years, I’ve also realised it’s a stunningly good ‘housework song’, which is kinda like dancing, only with a vacuum cleaner instead of a hot partner.

Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have”

A song that makes me cry

True Colors | Cyndi Lauper

This is one of those songs that’s difficult for me to listen to given the power it has over my emotions. Needless to say, it’s up there with Macy Gray’s I Try and Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah as a song that can turn on the waterworks almost instantly.

Show me a smile then,
Don’t be unhappy, can’t remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you’ve taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I’ll be there”


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Music for Monday: Stronger when naked

Earlier this year, before my relapse, I began working through a thirty day song challenge that I discovered on MM172001’s blog. Now that things are more settled I’ve decided to pick up where I left off, only instead of doing it daily, I’ll be sharing my responses weekly. Who knows, perhaps you’ll discover some new songs to love or a few old favourites to re-live! :)

A song that is my guilty pleasure

Stronger | Britney Spears

More often than not, when I mention my love for songstress Britney Spears the words Oops I did it again follow shortly after, which is because the title track of her second album is a song I cherish beyond all measure. But I’m also a huge fan of the second track of this album, Stronger, because it takes me back to the heady days of my backpacking adventures and is a bit of a personal ‘psych myself up’ anthem.

Stronger than yesterday
Now it’s nothing but my way
My loneliness ain’t killing me no more
I’m stronger”

A song I liked when I was younger

Naked | Louise

To be honest, I’m not all that ashamed that this was the very first single I ever purchased. Sure, it’s a cheesy pop anthem rather than a prog-rock classic or folk-rock work of genius, but compared to the output of today’s pop studios, this is very almost a work of art. Also, popstars take note…it’s entirely possible to be sexy without taking your clothes off.

“I lie awake, hesitate between love and hate
I know you’ve been feeding my infatuation
I can see you and me doing things we shouldn’t be
I can’t seem to stop my imagination”

~ Previous installments of the Song Challenge ~

| Day 01: A song that makes me happy | Day 02: A song that makes me clear my head |
| Day 03: A song that makes me laugh | Day 04: A song that reminds me of something sad |
| Day 05: A song that has new meaning every time I hear it | Day 06: A song I can always relate to |


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Music for Monday: New meanings and old messages

Earlier this year, before my relapse, I began working through a thirty day song challenge that I discovered on MM172001’s blog. Now that things are a little more settled I’ve decided to pick up where I left off, only instead of doing it daily, I will be sharing my responses weekly.

Each and every Monday for the next twelve weeks, I’ll share my response to two of the prompts so we can kick-start the week with some awesome music therapy.

Who knows, perhaps you’ll discover some new songs to love or a few old favourites to re-live! :)

A song that has a new meaning every time I hear it

Kettering | The Antlers

I first heard this song in 2010 when it featured on the soundtrack of the superb television show Chuck. The album it is taken from (Hospice) was the first concept album from the group The Antlers and tells the story of the relationship between a hospice worker and a female patient suffering from terminal bone cancer.

On the first few occasions I listened to it outside of Chuck it was the atmosphere the music produced that I soaked in, but further focus and reflection on the lyrics revealed so many more layers to this masterpiece of contemporary music, especially having been in an abusive relationship, which (to me) parts of this song are referring to.

You made me sleep all uneven
And I didn’t believe them
When they told me that there
Was no saving you”

A song I can always relate to

Unwell | Matchbox Twenty

More than any other song this is the one I can always relate to. For many – many – years it has been an unofficial anthem of mine and anyone who hears the lyrics should be able to understand why. I am particularly fond of the chorus, which is one of the few pieces of music I will always sing-a-long to whenever (and wherever) I hear it.

“But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me…”

~ Previous installments of the Song Challenge ~

| Day 01: A song that makes me happy | Day 02: A song that makes me clear my head |
| Day 03: A song that makes me laugh | Day 04: A song that reminds me of something sad |


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30 Day Song Challenge: A song that reminds me of something sad.

Perhaps one day I’ll be able to share why this song fills me with such bittersweet melancholy. But today is not that day.

Until it comes around, enjoy the musical perfection that is Biffy Clyro‘s Many of Horror.

Many of Horror | Biffy Clyro

“When we collide we come together
If we don’t we’ll always be apart
I’ll take a bruise; I know you’re worth it
When you hit me hit me hard,”

“You said love was letting us go against what
Our future is for…”


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30 Day Song Challenge: Me Neither

…a song that makes me laugh!

Okay, given my love affair with Monty Python’s Spamalot, how many people are expecting me to post one of the magnificent tunes from this almighty musical?

Yeah, well you were nearly right! The temptation to share Diva’s Lament (Whatever Happened to My Part), The Song that Goes Like This or You Won’t Succeed on Broadway was too great to resist (considering the surreptitious YouTube linking you just witnessed) but I decided to take a more ‘country’ approach for the song that appears here.

I first came across this song courtesy of the brilliant independent comedy Happy Texas some twelve years ago. To this day, whenever I hear it, I flashback to the time Louise and I first listened to it, where we erupted with laughter over the snappily written lyrics throughout this toe-tapping tune; especially at the 1:38 minute mark!

Good memories! :p

Me Neither| Brad Paisley

“It’s nice to finally meet a girl who doesn’t move too fast
I was only checking that’s the reason that I asked
Relationships need time to grow
You and I should take this slow
Darling tell me would you like to dance?

Me neither, I’s just being polite,”

Tomorrow: A song that reminds me of something sad…


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30 Day Song Challenge: Hearts of Olden Glory

…a song that makes me clear my head!

On any given day my mind is a cacophony of deafening voices, numbing negative thought, superfluous ideas and pain so debilitating that I wonder how I’m able to get out of bed, let alone do anything as complicated as write blog posts or visit the supermarket. In fact the noise is so constant, the trauma so prevalent, the memory so visceral, that I have yet to find anything (music or otherwise) that clears my head completely.

The only song that comes close is a bone-fide Scottish classic. A song so intensely beautiful that any Scotsperson worth their brogue should know it syllable for syllable.

Whenever I hear it, time stops. I am transported back to my homeland. To a time and place where anything seemed possible, where the world was my playground and the chaos that isolates me was but a distant nightmare. It is a song of such beauty, such majestic power, it can calm anxiety, ease panic and bring a smile to this world-weary man’s face at times when all hope and happiness have fled.

It is a song called Hearts of Olden Glory. A song that not only clears my head but is one of the defining anthems of my life; without it, I would not be the man I am today.

Hearts of Olden Glory | Runrig

“There’s thunder clouds
Round the hometown bay
As I walk out
In the rain
Through the sepia showers
And the photoflood days
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Of life

“There must be a place
Under the sun
Where hearts of olden glory
Grow young”

Tomorrow, on this blog: A song that makes me laugh…