All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

30 Day Self Harm Awareness Challenge: Day 27

8 Comments

Today’s prompt in the 30 Day Self Harm Awareness Challenge asks
Discuss any and all progress you have made.

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I began this challenge on the 4 August 2014. Back then, I was self harming on a daily basis. Every afternoon, I would halt whatever I was doing, take out my cutting implements, and carve love (and hate) on my arms. It was a coping mechanism. the only thing that kept the depression at bay and gave me half a chance of making it through the day unscathed.

It is now the 15 August 2015, and although I have struggled to complete this challenge in a timely fashion, I have succeeded in being self harm free for over eight months now. I no longer feel the urge to cut. I no longer feel the compulsion to injure myself in any way. This is huge progress. For someone who has been self harming on and off since I was thirteen years old, to go so long without feeling the urge to self harm is massive.

It is certainly something worthy of celebration! :)

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8 thoughts on “30 Day Self Harm Awareness Challenge: Day 27

  1. Yes celebrate this marvelous achievement. I celebrate with you. It is mighty.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You absolutely should be celebrating this! I’m celebrating it too.

    Also, a friend of mine posted this earlier in the week and I thought you’d appreciate it.
    “Probably pretty close to a year ago now, a boy and his mom were shopping for cat food while I was stocking in the pet department. They were talking about the boy, who was 12 years old, having had his heart broken by a girl. His mom asked me how old I was when I had my first boyfriend and if I thought dating was important, and we all joked a little bit about boys and girls and cooties, and they read my tattoos, and it was a fun conversation.
    “About 10 minutes later, as I was leaving, I ran into the boy again. He took my arm and asked, “Are those scars on your arms?” I nodded my head and shifted my eyes to the ground until he said, “I cut myself too.”
    A 12 year old. I immediately hugged him and promised him that everything would be okay, and I went home, crying…but it didn’t feel right. I wrote him a note that included my name and email and phone number because I didn’t want him to feel alone. I didn’t find him when I rushed right back to Walmart that night, but I keep the note with me almost all the time just in case. My heart shattered for that 12 year old boy telling me that he self-harms.
    “Today he keeps coming to my thoughts.
    “I hope you’re okay.”

    I’ve known this incredible young person since she was about 8. What a joy to see her coming into her own. As are you, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing that beautiful story. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that self harm (and mental illness in general) doesn’t discriminate against age, gender, class etc. In fact, I was only a year older than that boy when I started self harming. And you’re right, I should be celebrating my achievement! Wishing you a wonderful day! :)

      Like

  3. Way to go months is a long time heres to many more and I hope you did something special to celebrate your progress! XX

    Liked by 1 person

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