All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

Sunday Stealing: Very Much Questions Meme

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After last weeks triumphant return to the world of Sunday Stealing, I’ve decided to make it a regular occurrence. So, welcome back to Sunday Stealing which originated on WTIT: The Blog. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. Enjoy!

1. What was the last clothing item that you bought?

Due to my rather unfortunate financial situation, I am reliant on the disability pension. For reasons best known to the Australian government, this isn’t a rather large amount of money, in fact, most people who are on it are living substantially below the poverty line. As a result, after taking into account rent, bills and other essential items such as food, there is very little money left for luxuries such as phone credit and clothing. After all, who knew that clothing was a luxury item in Australia? Anyway, as I don’t walk around naked all day (be still your beating hearts), I do have some clothing and the last item of clothing I purchased was a T-Shirt adorned with a Pac-man decoration. A T-Shirt that has been well received by the few people in my life, as well as complete strangers, who stop me in the street to compliment my rather awesome (and only $6) T-Shirt.

2. If you could stay one age forever, what age would you choose?

One of the problems with being the victim of abuse is that, quite commonly, you become stuck at the age you were when the abuse happened. For example, victims of childhood abuse can appear quite immature in their adulthood as they become stuck at that emotional age. For me, although I am 36 in physical age, I am perpetually trapped at 27, as this was the age I had reached when the abuse I received was at its peak. As such, I would answer this question with a ‘not for me’, I’m afraid, as it isn’t at all fun being stuck at a particular age; I promise you.

3. When you say “lol”, are you really laughing?

In all honesty, I rarely, if ever, use the abbreviation “lol”. But if I were to use it, I would absolutely be laughing, for if I wasn’t, I would be lying. And lying, as I was taught growing up, is a very naughty thing to do.

4. What is the most interesting thing you’ve done in the past year?

I have been trapped in a vicious, bothersome and unruly depressive episode for the last year, so my life hasn’t been all that interesting. In fact, it’s been a constant battle to even get out of bed in the morning, let alone do something interesting or productive with my time. But, in order to answer the question, I would say blogging has been the most interesting thing I’ve done in the last year, with this post in particular being a stand-out.

5. If you started a business, what would it be?

I have always wanted to have my own book or DVD store. But with the advent of e-readers and streaming services, neither industry is particularly viable these days, so my dream of my own little emporium will probably remain just that, a dream.

bookstore

6. Do your friends/family/coworkers know about your blog?

I have always been totally honest to my family about my blogging activities. In fact, when I began this blogging journey some seven and a half years ago now, I informed my parents about it almost instantaneously. Since then I have told my friends (most of whom vanished upon reading about my mental health issues) and anyone who comes into my life, including support workers, counselors and psychiatrists. Some of whom took it upon themselves to read my words and further try to understand the slightly warped and twisted world in which I exist.

7. How long does it take you to write an average blog post?

I would say it would take me about an hour to write my average blog post. But there are times that I put a lot more effort into what I’m writing, so can take hours or even days, to find the correct words to get my message across. These posts tend to be better than the ones I whip up in an hour, but that doesn’t mean they’re read more than the ones which were quicker to write, which is marginally annoying, to be honest.

8. How do you keep up with the blogs you follow?

I have my favourite blogs bookmarked and subscribed to, so I can easily access them through my Firefox toolbar. Other blogs I keep up to date with via the WordPress reader feature, which has undergone some changes over the years, and is now slightly annoying to use, but use it I do.

9. What is your bedtime?

Pre-hospitalisation, my bedtime was anywhere between midnight and 2am. Post-hospitalisation, my bedtime has been anywhere between 10pm and 10:30pm. This is because I no longer get anything out of being awake and want to spend as much time in my bed as possible. I have depression to thank for that!

10. Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert; and proud of it!

introvert

11. What is your biggest wish?

To no longer be lonely. People tend not to understand how painful being isolated from society is, and even fewer people understand what it’s like to have no-one in your life, because most people tend to have at least one friend they can turn to. So yeah, if I had one wish, I would wish for the ability to talk to people, to make friends with people, and no longer have this crippling loneliness to deal with day-in, day-out.

12. What is the best job you ever had?

In hindsight, the best job I ever had was being the manager of a backpacker hostel in Melbourne. A job I left because I had become suicidal. Although I don’t miss it most of the time – mostly because of the fact I had become suicidal from working there – there are fleeting moments that I look back on that period with a song in my heart. I was good at the job and did some fantastic work there, which isn’t me being arrogant, just a rare moment of self-honesty.

13. Dog person/cat person/both/neither?

Cat person; I’ve never been a fan of dogs, but love (and respect) the independence and spirit of the humble feline.

14. If you had $1,000 to spend any way you wanted, what would you do with it?

I would probably head to the local clothes store and stock up on a variety of new (and not pre-loved) clothing options. Living beneath the poverty line isn’t fun, and I would love to be able to dress more the way I want to, rather than the way I’m forced to.

15. How do you “dress” your toast?

With butter and Vegemite; scrumptious!

vegemite

16. How do you feel about snow?

I love snow. It’s one of the things I miss most about living in Scotland. Back then, you could guarantee at least one decent snowfall that would have you rampaging around like a child making snow angels and hurling snowballs. But living in Australia, you don’t really get snow, and what snow you get, is pretty sodding pathetic.

17. What was the worst job you ever had?

Discounting paper rounds, which I don’t really classify as a job, I would probably say the worst job I ever had was being the manager of a backpacker hostel in Melbourne. However good I was at the job, and however much I am proud of the fantastic work I did there, working there turned me into a severely depressed, suicidal man…and that’s not a good thing. No it’s not.

18. What song can you not stop listening to?

19. Love your name or hate it?

The only thing I like about my name is that it’s the namesake of the patron Saint of Scotland. Other than that, I’m not overly fond of it. Magnus, on the other hand, I would be fond of that! :p

20. How did you choose your blog/twitter handle?

My blog handle (Addy) is basically a shortened version of my name. I’ve never liked Andy, so when someone started calling me Addy way back in 2006, I fell slightly in love with it and have used it ever since. Even though the person who christened me Addy turned out to be an emotionally abusive sociopathic narcissist. But I try not to hold that against her too much.

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10 thoughts on “Sunday Stealing: Very Much Questions Meme

  1. Addy, I love the name Magnus as well. I couldn’t listen to your song–something silly with the country and not allowing it, but I am sure it is a pretty neat song. Hang in, there, You never know when a friend will appear, even if only online.

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    • Sorry about not being able to hear the song – I blame Youtube entirely ;) – it’s called ‘Weak in the Knees’ by Serena Ryder, a Canadian singer-songwriter, and is my favourite song of all time. Thank you for your kind words, hopefully a friend will appear at some point in the near-future, I certainly haven’t given up hope! :)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate to much of what you’ve written. I am sorry you are suffering and also that governments are awful about taking care of people. If I ruled the world, I would make that so different! But I don’t. I hope that you are able to find some joy in your life soon.

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    • Thank you for your kind words. Life is hard sometimes, and sometimes I think that’s half the fun, for where would we be if everything was so simple and unchallenging. Governments the world over need to do more to help those less fortunate, but alas, I don’t think it will ever happen. Perhaps one day I will be proved wrong. Wishing you all the best for a wonderful day! :)

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  3. I love your introvert image. Many of us are introverts it seems

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    • Thanks. I’ve loved that image about introversion for many months now. There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert, in fact, I’m damn proud to be one! :)

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  4. That is a truly fab song! And I hope you make some friends through Sunday Stealing. ;-)

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    • It’s my favourite song of all time, I love it to pieces. Hopefully some friends will come through Sunday Stealing, that would be wonderful. Have a fantastic day! :)

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  5. Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed reading this :) xx

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