All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

Getting to know me, getting to know all about me… (II)


Recently, Marci (over at Marci, Mental Health and More) began a series of 100 questions designed to get to know someone better. As I’ve been blogging so infrequently lately I’ve decided to follow her lead and post my own answers to the questions. This way, people who’ve been following my blog for a while can get to know me a little better whilst newbies to my wonderful world can learn a few random things about me.

| Questions 1 – 26 |

27. Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?

Given that no-one has ever surprised me in my life, with anything, I can’t say for sure whether I like surprises or not. I like the idea of them, and to have a surprise birthday party has been on my bucket list for years, but I’m not sure how my anxiety would cope with surprise. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to answer definitively either way.

28. In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?

Out of those four options, I would have to choose watching a movie. I was a fan of television and film long before I began studying the genre through media studies and my film production college course, so watching a movie isn’t just about mindless entertainment, but an educational activity that keeps my brain ticking over as I study everything from cinematography to the director’s choice of music.

29. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why?

I’ve never been a beach bum. I like the beach, I do, but my body image issues prevents me from truly enjoying it. I also hate – and I mean hateswimming in the ocean. And although I wouldn’t mind checking out the various volcanoes and landscapes of Hawaii, I believe I would be much happier amidst the cold and rugged terrain of Alaska.

30. Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why?

Yesterday I mentioned my work ethic and how rewarding and fulfilling I find employment, so this question is a no brainer. However nice it would be to have few money worries courtesy of a lottery win, I would be much happier working in my perfect job (which would be in the creative industry, such as writer or film-maker) than loitering around all day feeling the need to conform to champagne drinking stereotypes.

31. Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island?

Shay wants me to say Vanessa Hudgens, because she looks spankolicious in a bikini. Meadhbh wants me to say Link, from The Legend of Zelda video game series, but he’s fictional so I don’t think he counts. Personally, if I would be allowed to resurrect someone from the dead, I would choose my once friend Samantha, mainly because we would be able to fill our time nattering away and indulging in glorious mutual passions.

Vanessa Hudgens (2)

(31) Vanessa Hudgens, because she looks spankolicious in a bikini

32. If money was no object, what would you do all day?

Write. But if writer’s block was an issue, I’d think about writing.

33. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?

Oooooo, this is a tough question as there are many years and moments I would like to experience. For example, 1966, in order to discover what happened to the Beaumont Children; 2001, in order to discover what happened to Peter Falconio on that dark stretch of highway; 1745, to experience the euphoria and determination of the ’45 uprising. But if I had to pick one year and one year only, I would choose 3000BCE, to witness the construction of the stone circle at Callanish in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland.

34. How would your friends describe you?

Vanessa is telling me moronic, useless, worthless and a waste of space. But she’s my most abusive voice and will take any and all opportunities to disparage me. Outside of her ‘suggestions’, I don’t really have any friends, so I have no idea how fictional people would describe me. If I had to guess – or rather, if I had to pick how I’d like to be described – it would be: passionate, strong, determined, inspirational and unique. If only.

35. What are your hobbies?

Film and television; writing; blogging; photography; reading; cycling; my kink; and dancing. Though I don’t dance much anymore, unfortunately.

36. What is the best gift you have been given?

A brown leather journal cover with a Celtic knotwork design that my sister gave me when I was a teenager. Twenty years later, I still have it with me, in fact it’s one of the only objects of my past that survived my homeless ordeal.

37. What is the worst gift you have received?

A (quite) hideous cardigan that my aunt and uncle gave me for Christmas one year. It didn’t suit me at all, but I felt obliged to wear it all day so as not to offend them.

Callanish Standing Stones

(33) I would choose 3000BCE, to witness the construction of the stone circle at Callanish

38. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?

My computer. It’s my primary coping mechanism and I don’t know what I’d do without it. But, it’s on its last legs, and I fear it will die very soon. So I may be finding out what I’d do without it any day now!

39. List two pet peeves.

People who can’t fathom the difference between your and you’re. And chewing gum. I seriously can’t handle people chewing gum.

40. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Although it pains me to say, I will probably be just as lonely and isolated as I am today. My health will probably have worsened, to the point of total instability and I will no doubt be living somewhere that I hate as I won’t be able to afford to move somewhere that I love. Yep, I’m an optimist! :p

41. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

One. Being reliant on a state pension, which is not that generous an amount of money, I can’t afford to buy shoes unless I sacrifice some food or bill payments. Thus, I will wear the pair I have until they’re pretty much dead. It’s annoying, but it’s the only thing I can reasonably afford to do.

42. If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have?

Invisibility; heat vision; X-ray vision and flight. I’d be like Superman, only with the power to turn invisible. Freakin’ awesome!

43. What would you do if you won the lottery?

Firstly I would donate large swathes of money to charitable organisations, primarily those focussing on homelessness, mental health and cancer. Secondly, I would gift large swathes of money to various members of my immediate family so they could share in my good fortune and live happier lives And thirdly, I would purchase a small cottage in Inverness where I would live happily for the rest of my days.

44. What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.)

Ummmm, since when was a car a form of public transport? Okay, I guess a taxi would count, but still. My favourite is the humble train. I love trains. I love travelling on trains. I am happy on trains. So the train it is. For the record, my least favourite is the aeroplane, which is just a hideous way to travel.

45. What’s your favorite zoo animal?

The common wombat. I love wombats. Wombats rock! :D


(45) The common wombat. I love wombats. Wombats rock!

46. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?

Oooooo, another tough question. In my life, it would be to go back to when I was teenager (Quantum Leap style) and ask my high school crush out. I believe that had I done this I would not have had the same issues with confidence and anxiety that I have today, so it would have a knock-on effect in changing my mental health and overall quality of life.

If I was changing something not related to me, it would be to stop the invention of the mobile phone – which I believe to be one of the worst inventions of the modern world. Sure, it has benefits in terms of contacting emergency services, but our reliance on mobiles have rendered us contactable 24 hours a day (who needs to be contacted 24 hours a day!?) and turned us into inwardly obsessed borderline narcissists incapable of maintaining any face to face social contact.

47. If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be?

i. Samantha, because I miss her dreadfully and believe her to be one of the most magical and interesting people I’ve met.

ii. Audrey Hepburn, because she’s divine.

iii. Alfred Hitchcock, because he was a film-making genius and I would love to quiz him on all things film-related.

iv. Charles de Lint, because he is so creative and talented, plus his storytelling prowess would enliven the table.

49. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep (and why)?

When I was manic in 2007, I can honestly not remember sleeping for approximately two weeks. I’m sure I must have slept at some point during this time, otherwise death would have ensued, but I don’t recall doing so at all.

50. What’s the tallest building you’ve been to the top in?

This would be the Rialto Tower in Melbourne, Australia. I hate heights so truly hated being up there, but at least I can say I did it.


2 thoughts on “Getting to know me, getting to know all about me… (II)

  1. re q34; I would say you are a very caring person who always puts other people before yourself. you are also very consiencious


  2. I would describe you as a very caring person who often worries more about others than yourself and certainly deserves a better life than you have now. Great, but maybe to some a different, taste in music and avid movie buff.


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