All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

Thirteen goals for 2013…six months on!

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Almost six months ago to the day, I wrote a post in which I set myself thirteen goals for the year ahead. Today, I thought it might prove fruitful to review how many I’ve succeeded in…and how many more I’ve yet to go!

ADDY’S

goals for 2013

~ in no particular order ~

1. Cross item one from the 101 things I want to do before I die list [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

I’m not really off to a good start, am I? I will be honest that I did have the opportunity to cross this item off back in July, but a combination of my health issues and lack of finances rendered me unable to afford/make the trip to Melbourne.

It is still on the agenda, although it is now looking less likely, with only one possible opportunity left; namely a planned trip to Melbourne in November for the Hearing Voices World Congress (which happens to coincide with the 50th Anniversary of Doctor Who and my birthday!)

Perhaps all this means that fate is conspiring on my side for a change!

2. Return to the Kings Domain so I can scream ‘Fuck you homelessness, I beat your ass!” [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

I still miss it. I still want to go back. I still need to scream those seven words to find some form of closure from that nightmare time of my life…but as I just mentioned, I’ve so far been unable to afford a trip to Melbourne this year, so I’m desperately hoping that November will work in my favour.

DSCN0235

“Fuck you homelessness, I beat your ass!” (Photo of my ‘home’ circa 2010 © Addy)

3. Continue going to the Hearing Voices Support Group on a weekly basis

Okay, I’ll be honest here. I haven’t been every single week. Sometimes health, exhaustion and life have gotten in the way. But I am still attending the group sessions and I’ve begun attending the committee meetings so I’m fairly linked in with the group now…so, I think I’m allowed to cross this off the list at the half way point.

Hopefully you’ll agree…if not, there is a comments field below! ;)

4. Keep working toward obtaining ongoing mental health support

Yep, I’m gonna lop this off the list as well.

I may not have psychiatric support (given my previously acknowledged hatred of the system courtesy of a c**k of a psychiatrist in 2011) but I have kept up regular meetings with my support worker at GT House, as well as a pretty decent attendance record when it comes to the social and self-help groups.

I am also properly medicated (at a decent dosage) for the first time in years and feel that people finally give a damn about me. Which is a wholly strange and un-natural feeling given the complete lack of compassion and support since 2007.

5. Start writing my novel(s) again [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

Given the rollercoaster I’ve been riding over the last six months, I’ve yet to start writing fiction again. I’m still hoping that by the end of the year I will have begun doing so again…hopefully NaNoWriMo will help!

6. Smile more [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

I still rarely smile. Sometimes I think I’ve absolutely forgotten how.

It’s not because I don’t like smiling (I really, really do!) It’s because I don’t really have all that much to smile about. Hopefully if I keep working my arse off, by the end of this year, smiling will seem as natural as frowning does to me now.

I am, however, becoming more aware of the things that make me smile – and always look forward to those moments.

lostyoursmile

7. Stop procrastinating about writing and sending emails [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

I’m still an atrocious emailer. As I said in February, it’s all tied up with my confidence and anxiety, but I’m doing my best.

8. Expand my social networking presence [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

I haven’t used Twitter since I wrote the original version of this post back in February. The whole thing kinda annoys the crap out of me now so it’s doubtful I will be returning unless I suddenly become hypomanic again!

9. Go on a holiday [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

There aren’t enough synonyms for ‘desperate’ to fully capture just how badly I want a holiday. My only real hope now is the aforementioned Melbourne trip this November…as money issues have rendered all my dream destinations unaffordable.

10. Make at least one new friend (in real-life) [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

Although I am trusting a few more people than I was in February – my support worker, a few cyber people (some of whom I’ve met up with in real-life) – I’m still isolated and incredibly lonely most of the time.

Perhaps (hopefully) come New Year’s Eve, I won’t be any more!

11. See at least 6 films in the cinema [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

So far this year I’ve seen The Hobbit and The World’s End…which means I now need to aim for one every month.

Jeepers!

moviesin2013

Films I’d like to see in 2013 (clockwise from left): City of Bones, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, The Great Gatsby, Iron Man 3, Kick Ass 2, Oz: The Great and the Powerful, Star Trek Into Darkness, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, Thor: The Dark Worlds, White House Down..to name but a few!

12. Write at least one blog post in every month of the year [IMPOSSIBLE TO COMPLETE! :( ]

Alas, courtesy of my most recent episode and relapse, I have failed to complete this item. Sorry.

13. To stop being so hard on myself all the time and begin believing how seriously freaking awesome I am! [CURRENTLY INCOMPLETE!]

I’m probably harder on myself now than I was back in February. Whether this is a product of my recent relapse or just because I’m a little older, I don’t know…we’ll just have to see what happens over the next four months! :/

Which means that at the six month mark, I’m two down, ten to go (as one is now impossible to complete!). Blimey, I think I have my work cut out for me…but, with number 13 in mind, if anyone can do it…I can! :)

 

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