In all honesty, I’ve always disliked questions like this; purely because there is no one type of person that I’m attracted to.
Casting a cursory glance over some of the celebrities I crush on (Karen Gillan, Vanessa Hudgens, Helen Mirren, Anjli Mohindra, Mary Lynn Rajskub and Lenora Crichlow) reveals a range of ages, colours and nationalities. Even comparing the women I’ve been in relationships with – and those whom I could have been in relationships with – reveal very few physical similarities.
In fact, the only thing they all have in common, is the only thing that attracts me to someone; their ‘energy’.
So however ‘new age’ that answer may sound, and however much it may make everyone groan, it’s really the only one I have.
When I first met Louise on that windswept Hebridean Island, I loved that she was shamelessly wearing every item of clothing she possessed to combat a cold she wasn’t used to. Many would have been too embarrassed or insecure to do such a thing, but not her. I loved that, hours after having met, upon hearing me sigh ‘fuck me’ under my breath (as an expression of exhaustion and my desire to retire to bed) she responded with a whispered ‘yes, please’; completely (and naughtily) aware I would hear her.
It was a similar confident, self-assured intelligence that drew me toward Kathy, Diane, Annie and Rachel. All are/were woman who knew exactly who they were and steadfastly defended their opinions and beliefs.
For example, Samantha, unlike me, had pushed past the insecurities of her sexual proclivity and embraced it. She didn’t care about what other people thought, whether they considered her ‘evil’, ‘repulsive’ or ‘an enemy to feminists’. She cared only about being true to herself and the desires that burned within her.
So if you came here hoping I would be waxing lyrical over my love of a woman’s eyes, writing reams of text describing my passion for the female posterior or concocting some fantasized wish list for my ‘perfect’ (i.e. doesn’t exist) woman, I’m sorry to disappoint you.
The simple truth is, all the women I’ve been attracted to – be it on a platonic or sexual level – have all been strong, intelligent, driven human beings. Women who refuse to be bound by the sexist demands of society and are not afraid to fight for all they believe in. The sort of women that men’s rights extremists (MREs) seem to be so afraid of.
Tomorrow: What I wear to bed?
(where we’ll find out if I can turn such a simple question into an interesting and insightful post!)