All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

{NSFW} 07. Toy Stories

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Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

The toy that I’ve used…

There are many words I could use to describe the women I’ve been in relationships with:

Intelligent, beautiful, inspiring, sexy…

…selfish, controlling, narcissistic, abusive…

…sexually repressed and unimaginative.

My first girlfriend was vehemently opposed to vibrators. My second girlfriend didn’t seem to know her labia from her lymph nodes. Whilst my third girlfriend took me to a sex shop on our second weekend together and once there informed me there was nothing in the shop that she was curious about aside from sex dice – which, following an incident with my first girlfriend where she refused to use them unless I replaced the word ‘spank’ with ‘stroke’ – I’d developed a complex about.

However, there was one thing that they all enjoyed: handcuffs.

Over the years I’ve spent many an evening with a beautiful, naked woman handcuffed to my bed; their body a canvas for my deviant, delicious erotic art. Hours upon hours spent teasing them mercilessly until they writhed and begged for release in every possible definition of the word.

Thus, my favourite toy that I’ve used would have to be the humble handcuffs. I don’t care if they’re fuzzy, plastic, lockable with a key or catch, as long as they secure my lover to the bed until I’m ready to free them, I (and they) are happy :)

My personal preference would be the simple metal cuffs that are lockable with a key. Two sets, to make it easier to bind each arm to the bed. Or four, if I wished to secure their legs as well! But more often than not I’d let them squirm around for it was easier to flip them over to attend to their back and buttocks :p

The toy that I fantasize most about…

One of my favourite subjects at school was woodwork. Perhaps because I’ve always loved working with my hands, perhaps because I just have an affinity with the source material, but I would spend hours relaxing in that workshop manufacturing boxes and stools, desks and shelves, and on one occasion whilst alone, my own spanking paddle.

Whilst travelling, especially when camping and spending days on isolated islands, I took to beachcombing for wood before whittling it into random pieces of art. Whilst on Berneray, I whittled an otter (that looked more like a mutated sausage), in Canada, a bear that appeared to be eating its own hand and on Mull, a rather splendid looking boat.

During my homeless period, I actively thought of setting up my own ‘whittled art street stall’ to earn some much needed cash, but given my increased self-harm and suicidal desires at the time, thought it best not to have too many knives or sharp instruments around!

So, given that this week we’ve had fantasies about paddles and hair brushes, is it all that much of a surprise I’m drawn to the natural beauty of wood when it comes to spanking implements?

Certainly, they hurt (and mark) a lot more than the leather whips and paddles often found in adult stores, but to this man’s eyes, they are intensely beautiful works of useable art.

(clockwise from top left)

OTK Paddle 1: The uneven shape and Japanese symbols are exquisite.
 OTK Paddle 2: I’m drawn to this paddle purely because of the colour of the wood. Gorgeous.
OTK Paddle 3: I love the uneven shape and the cute heart-hole would leave adorable marks.
Paddle Brush: The hairbrush of my dream punishment spanking.
Traditional School Cane: I’ve always found the cane very appealing to look at. Not sure why.
Spencer Paddle (with holes): It’s beauty is in its simplicity; it can only be used for one thing.
Paddle: Love the curved handle, love the colour, love the grain. A gorgeous piece of useable art.
Bath Brush: Similar to the brush I used for self-spanking; the long handle made it easier swing :p

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