After successfully completing the 20 Day Challenge I began a new challenge on Tuesday, which failed spectacularly because of the events of this week. Thus, I have decided to begin a whole new challenge that, once again, has been pinched (with affection) from The Bipolar Place.
1. Be open-minded
However much I think fondly of our respective times together, however much I loved being with them, each of my three girlfriends inflicted long-term psychological damage on me regarding a single aspect of my personality.
I often refer to it as a fetish, but people who have read my Fifty Shades of Addy (Password Protected) post have informed me that it is such a tame fantasy they cannot understand why the women who claimed to love me informed me I was: disgusting, repulsive, grotesque, disturbed and downright evil (in the Satan eating babies sense) regarding this part of my personality.
In all honesty, neither do I.
So, if you want to win my heart, you need to be open-minded. Not just about this, but about everything.
2. Prefer board games over mind games
Having been on the receiving end of emotional abuse I abhor mind games. If you employ manipulative, blackmail, insulting or controlling techniques to get your own way I suggest re-enrolling in kindergarten as this is where this sort of behaviour belongs.
From my experience, board games are much more exciting – especially when combined with a little bit of sexual creativity; Strip Hungry Hippos, Spankabble, Underwear Pursuit (basically, you strip every time you get a question wrong until you’re both in your underwear, then only the loser of the overall game removes them – otherwise, unless you’re a trivia god, you’re both gonna be naked far too quickly!) to name but a few.
3. Cook me a jacket potato with butter and cheese
I cannot recall a single time any of my girlfriends cooked me a jacket potato with butter and cheese. Granted, it’s unlikely this rather simple gastronomic delight would be the winning dish in a series of Masterchef, but I love them! Cook me one and you’ll win far more than my heart :p
4.The three C’s: creative, caring and compassionate
I suffer from a mental illness. Even when I’m medicated there are going to be periods where I’m a grouchy b’tard. There are going to be times when I don’t make any sense. There are going to be times when I have trouble crawling out of bed. There are going to be times when I might not be able to say the right thing. Someone who has the compassion to understand it’s an illness and not my personal choice, is well on the way to winning my heart.
I have a history of homelessness. If you’re caring enough to walk up to a homeless person and have a conversation with them to find out if they’re okay and/or make their day with a friendly smile, rather than turn your nose up in superiority as you walk past, you’ll be well on the way to winning my heart.
I like being creative. I love making people birthday, Christmas and anniversary presents. I might write you a story or organise a random treasure hunt-esque date of adventurous mystery. You don’t have to do any of these things, but as long as you’re open to finding new ways to express yourself and cherish others who do the same, you’re well on the way to winning my heart.
5. Understand that you cannot change me into somebody I will never be
Throughout my life I’ve only met a handful of people who accepted me for who I am. I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. I do not want to be perfect. I like having flaws and foibles. I like being wrong sometimes. But understand I’m always working to be a better version of myself.
I’m fully aware that women enjoy changing a man, by all means help me change into the person I want to be, but if you can’t understand that you will never change me into someone I will never be, no matter how hard you try, your heart and mine are not compatible.
I fall in love with a person. Their heart, their soul, their beliefs.
I do not fall in love with the idea of a person and I have no desire to be that ‘template’ for someone else.
Those five things are in no particular order and are not an exclusive list of things I want. In in all honesty, there is only one thing you need to do to win my heart. Something so simple most have forgotten how to do it…
Tomorrow: Day #2: Something I feel strongly about…