All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

Behind the Lens #7: Montreal Airport

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This week’s theme ‘Behind the Lens’ is a combination of photography and memory. Each day a random image will be plucked from my archive and – regardless of how good it is – showcased on the blog along with the story behind the image. Today, an ending, Montreal Airport.

Montreal Airport (Canada, August 2000) © Addy

“The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either. A parable.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche~

Approximately ten minutes after this photograph was taken I was walking through the departure gates to bid Canada adieu. For three months I had travelled the breadth of the country two and three-quarter times; Vancouver to Halifax to Vancouver to Montreal. I had met dozens of amazing people, spent time with old friends and fallen in love. Or rather lust, considering we barely knew each other. Each day in that land of elk and beaver I’d challenged myself to become a better person.

I ate strawberries and cherries for the first time, I kept a running tally of women in dungarees (the CDC), I skinny dipped, hiked mountains, leapt ravines, gave a massage for the first time and took a swim with a few snakes. Realising a childhood dream I’d purchased a hat that made me look like Indiana Jones, lost it in Toronto, purchased a new one, then lost that one about two hours before this photo was taken. I’d even performed an impromptu Shakespeare rendition and hugged a tarantula.

This photo, taken after a twenty-four hour period at the airport, will always remind me of those three months. Sure, it was an ending, but it signalled a new beginning. I was stronger, more confident, oozed self-awareness and believed in myself for the first time in my life.

It will always remind me that, once, for a brief moment, I attained a state of blissful ecstasy. A happiness I fear will never be felt again.



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