All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

033. Seven things that make me happy (as searched via Google)

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Once upon a time there was a prompt featured in my 365 Day Challenge that asked me to list twenty-five things that made me happy. If you missed this epic post, you can read it here. Now, I am being asked for seven (more) things that make me happy!

So rather than simply list seven (more) random things that make me happy I have decided to use the search terms that have drawn people to this blog as my inspiration…which has made me realise just how sexually obsessed most Googlers are, or is it just I don’t realise how obsessed I am?

1. Supergirl Spanking [101 searches]

It seems the popularity of a certain “literary” sensation has triggered an increase of kinky internet users to my blog. Although, it’s most likely that being sent to random posts written by a socially isolated homeless man instead of naughty stories about naughty boys and girls doesn’t quite provide the fulfillment they were hoping for, but thems the breaks.

Given my predilection toward dropping spanking into random posts it’s not surprising people keep finding my blog courtesy of this word, but I’m perplexed that so many people have stumbled here using the search term “Supergirl Spanking”.

Perhaps superhero fans are simply taking their kinky side to the next level and throwing cosplay into their inspired-by-the-book bedroom play?

And why not ;)

Here are ten spanky-panky alternative pairings for those who aren’t Supergirl fans:

– Batman and Catwoman (goes without saying really, given the whip and all!)
– Spider-Man and MJ (up to you who’s on top, though I think MJ is the dominant in that relationship!)
– The Hulk and Thor (you won’t like him when he’s angry…plus, body paint hilarity!)
– Poison Ivy and Robin (this one’s a no brainer; no chance in hell Robin is anything other than the sub!)
– Superman and Lois Lane (another that goes without saying!)
– The Blur and Green Arrow (for the Smallville Fifty Shades fans)
– Wonder Woman and Superman (the lasso of truth could be an excellent bondage toy)
– Martha and Jonathan Kent (for the non-spandex loving Fifty Shades fans!)
– Wolverine and Mystique (yay, more body paint options…just be careful with the claws, safety comes first!)

And my personal favourite;

– The Joker and Harley Quinn (just saying!)

2. Should I kill myself [97 searches]

I will answer this as simply as I can:

No matter how bad things get.

No matter how painful things are.

No matter how desperate you become.

Never – ever – kill yourself!

If you are feeling suicidal reach out to someone. Call a help line. Phone a friend. See someone who cares. I know it’s tough in those dark times to believe that anyone does, but someone always does. Always.

Whatever is happening to make you think this is the answer it will pass. I promise.

Suicide is never the answer, so please seek some help, things will get better.

3. Kinky Smileys [48 searches]

Whether this is another search term fuelled by the popularity of Fifty Shade of Grey I do not know. I do know that smileys performing kinky acts are incredibly amusing…which is why I have a collection of them!

4. Effects of emotional abuse on people with mental illness [39 searches]

I have long believed that verbal and psychological abuse can have a devastating effect on people with mental health problems. Take for example my social anxiety, where I have an irrational, continuous fear of being evaluated, scrutinized and humiliated.

Throughout my abusive relationship my partner would continuously subject me to all three of these fears – and more – which only served to reinforce my fears and render them rational. Thus it’s not my imagination that people will do this anymore, it is a reality. A reality that has increased my anxiety, and in turn, my depression.

There is also the issue of those with a mental illness are more likely to be more emotionally vulnerable than those without. Abusers will seek out a vulnerable person as they are easier to control and maintain power over. This isn’t meant as an insult, but a simple fact of the dynamics of an abusive relationship.

Unfortunately there is no real advice I can give to lessen the effect abuse has on a mentally ill individual. The only solution is to never be afraid to talk to others about what is happening and always remember that asking for help is not a weakness.

Or, more obviously, just don’t abuse anybody!

5. Strip Mario Kart [19 searches]

I mentioned this amusing party game in passing and am overjoyed that there are others out there who enjoy this activity. For those who have yet to be converted, it’s pretty simple:

1. Load up Mario Kart on your console of choice.
2. Begin playing a multiplayer game.
3. Whoever loses removes an item of clothing.
4. Repeat until nudity occurs.

Note: it is possible to play this game on your own, but be advised it’s nowhere near as much fun. I tried.

Such interest in this activity gets me thinking that there are lots of partners out there not reaching their desired level of satisfaction. So, to try to assist the sex lives of those in love with video game addicts, here are a few more Mario Kart alternatives you could try:

Spank Mario Kart:

1. Load up Mario Kart on your console of choice.
2. Begin playing a multiplayer game.
3. After a set of four races, the loser receives one spank for each point difference between the winner(s).
4. Repeat. If you’re game!

Note I: it is possible to play this game on your own, but be advised that it is nowhere near as much fun. I tried.
Note II: Be careful if playing with 3 or more people – especially if there are no cushions/ice packs readily available!

Slave Mario Kart:

1. Load up Mario Kart on your console of choice.
2. Begin playing a multiplayer game.
3. Whoever loses agrees to be the ‘slave’ of the winner for five minutes per point difference between the winner.
4. Play nice. Or naughty. But always consensual.

Note: it’s not really possible to play this game on your own, unless you enjoy bossing yourself around that is. I don’t.

Cosplay Mario Kart:

1. Choose a character.
2. Dress up as your chosen character.
3. Load up Mario Kart on your console of choice.
4. Begin playing a multiplayer game.
5. Sooner or later your video-game addicted partner’s pre-existing fantasies of getting jiggy with Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Dry Bones (insert character here) will completely over-ride their desire to win. Which means that you most certainly will!

Note: it is possible to play this game on your own, but you run the risk of appearing a trifle odd. I prefer eccentric.

Remember, the above suggestions are not limited to Mario Kart. They work equally well with other video game franchises. Think Cosplay Super Smash Bros (who wouldn’t get a bit hot and bothered with their significant other dressed as Link or Zero Suit Samus?) or Spank Link’s Crossbow Training…the possibilities are endless, as long as you don’t mind a wee bit of creative sexiness.

6. Do mental illnesses exist? [11 searches]

To these people, let me ask you:

Does breast cancer exist?

Does diabetes exist?

Does jumping Frenchman disorder exist?

Does pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis exist?

Of course they do!

I have encountered many people throughout my life who believe mental illness doesn’t exist. On numerous occasions I have been told it is a figment of my imagination, that I’m doing it to get attention, that I’m just being lazy and not working hard enough.

Mental illness exists – period – and we need to continue raising awareness and spanking the stigma until everyone understands this. Those who think otherwise are just being discriminatory, arrogant and naïve.

7. Do you need any special skills to be an actress [6 searches]

You need to be able to act – and no – a stint on [insert reality show of choice] doesn’t count!

Well, who am I to argue with an inspirational quote?

For your (and my) amusement, here are a few more smile making search terms that have led people to my blog:

  • audry hepburn small breasts;
    I hadn’t noticed for I’m always too distracted by her enchanting eyes.
  • cobie smulders booty the avengers;
    yes, I have a crush on her too, and yes, her ‘booty’ looks amazing in The Avengers!
  • bunny eat flowers;
    so do I, are you saying I’m actually a bunny rabbit in disguise?
  • vanessa hudgens rain boots;
    and I’m sure she looks hot in them too. She does in everything!
  • games to distract me from self harm;
    Mario Kart, Mousetrap, The Legend of Zelda, Billiards, Lego Batman, Yahtzee!
  • rapunzel and pascal;
    Pascal rocks! Rapunzel is pretty awesome too (as Disney Princesses’ go)
  • benefits of bubble wrap;
    wrap some over your posterior before playing Spank Mario Kart.
  • ign’s 2009 list of the top 100 comic book villains of all time, i was ranked #45;
    really, you’re a Superviallan? Cool!
  • emotional breakdown and abused men;
    yay, someone actually cares about abused men! Who knew?
  • does anyone have a knee high socks fetish;
    why yes, yes I do :)
  • karen gillan ugly;
    them’s fighting words! Aside from me, she’s the most beautiful person to ever come out of Inverness!

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