All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

018 & 019. Playing catch-up with the 365 Day Challenge

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I’m very much the Stewie in my family!

It’s not that I’ve been slack, it’s just that I’ve been too preoccupied with mental health shenanigans to focus on my 365 Day Blogging Challenge. Sorry about that.

As I missed yesterday, we have two topics to write about today and after examining both they should be fairly simple to do. So…

(1) Why you made your blog and why you still have it…

Umm, this pretty much got covered here, so scoot off and have a read. Ta! :)

(2) Your thoughts on your family…

Umm, this pretty much gets covered here, so scoot off and have a read. Ta! :)

All done?

Yeah, not really all that satisfactory a post really was it, so I guess I should sate your appetites and extrapolate a little.

The reason I began writing All That I Am, All That I Ever Was in the first place was to put my life under a microscope and try to work out where it all went wrong. I wanted my life out there for the world to digest so that others didn’t have to go through the discrimination, confusion and pain that I went through.

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. The illnesses people suffer from do not define them. I was tired of being labelled and told I was depression or I am bipolar. Yes, I suffer from these illnesses but I am also so much more. My mental illness does not define me any more than someone’s cancer or diabetes defines them.

During my time away from the blogosphere whilst I was homeless I became disconnected not only from the world but from myself. So now the same stands for my homelessness too: I am not my homeless past. I am so much more than that.

Equally as important, the person who stares back at me in the mirror is someone I don’t recognise and, more than anything, I want to be able to again. The combination of homelessness and abuse has stolen my identity and decided to play an epic game of hide and seek with it.

So far I haven’t moved away from icy-cold, but I’m hoping this blog will be help me rediscover myself.

To summarise, I write this blog because:

  1. I want to continue speaking out about mental illness and the importance of eliminating the stigma this illness contains.
  2. To raise awareness of the homeless crisis that exists in Australia.
  3. To try to help people understand that homeless people are not statistics, stereotypes or wastes of space; they are human beings with feelings, emotions, dreams and desires.
  4. To rediscover who I am because, as of now, I have no bloody idea.

As for my family. I’m not a big fan of discussing them in detail on this blog and have deliberately refrained from doing so over the years. Please do not take this to mean I am ashamed or disliking of them, but even though I’ve chosen to humiliate myself to the world it doesn’t mean I have to embarrass them in the process.

I have always wanted to write a post about my sister and the impact she’s had on my life, but that is something for another time.

With this in mind I will summarise my thoughts with seven family facts:

  • I have nothing but respect and admiration for my parents. Hence, why I’m trying to write The Voice of our Song. They have been through much and never wavered from their beliefs. I only wish more people were like them in this, arguably, narcissistic world.
  • My brother is awesome and I would put money on many of you having encountered his work in some way. Equally, my sister-in-law is pretty darned cool, even though I haven’t had any contact with her for years (which is my fault, being homeless, crazy and all)
  • I’ve had a crush on one member of my extended family for a long time.
  • I look better in a kilt than anyone in my family.
  • I’ve barely had any contact with my family (parents and siblings aside) for ten years.
  • I used to be slightly scared of one member of my extended family.
  • My nan’s dog is the only dog I’ve never been scared of. Mostly because it was a soppy little thing.

Until tomorrow I will bid you adieu…and it’s a wonderful wee prompt to look forward to as well :)

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