All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

012. Words of love and wisdom

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In all the excitement of trying to write 50 reasons why I blog and the sadness of recanting my first day homeless I very nearly forgot my 365 Day Blogging Challenge.

Following on from yesterday I’m still in a rather depressed mood, if I can be honest. All I really want to do is thrash my damned depression with a big stick so apologies for this brief post this evening.

After yesterday’s ‘worst advice‘ I am now to tell you of the best piece of advice I’ve ever been given. Unfortunately I can’t narrow it down to one, so shall share two with you.

The first was first said to me by an old friend from my backpacking days. To this day she remains one of the most intelligent and vibrant human beings I’ve ever met and miss her quite spectacularly. I often think of what became of her and hope she’s continuing to spread her particular brand of magic around the world.

One evening, as we strolled through a quiet Canadian town she said these words to me during a conversation about the whys and wherefores of life and they’ve resonated within me ever since.

To this day I still try to approach life using this mantra. Even though the anxiety weighs me down and the depression plays heavy on my mind I’m not always successful, but that’s besides the point. The fact I make a go of it is what matters.

The second is something Samantha said to me during our brief time in Glasgow. Over a cigarette and whisky I was filling her in on the random and explicit details of the abuse I’d been put through.

Sensing my unease at the memories and seeing the obvious depth of the pain I was in she tried to appease me with these words.

At the time they frustrated me even more, but the more I think of them, the more I understand them and the more I appreciate her all the more for saying them.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to channel the vibes of these beautiful souls to improve my mood somewhat for tomorrow’s exciting installment of the 365 Day Blog Challenge. I’ve no idea what it is yet so I guess we’ll all just have to wait and see, until then, a few updates. I was totally unsuccessful in getting my television working. Two additional areals failed to get anything today so I think I need to come to terms with not having a working television for the time being. In better news, with the refund from the last areal I treated myself to a brand spanking new pair of flannel PJs which – I’m glad to tell you – are damned comfortable :) So bloody nice not to wearing jeans all the time; which are the only pants I’ve had for three years!

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