All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

Starter for Ten: The Grand Final

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“Starter for Ten” was a series of posts I named after the classic British Quiz show ‘University Challenge’ which was, alas, brought into ill-repute earlier this year when one of the contestants was revealed to have actually been ineligible to have been on the team. The team which incidentally won the whole competition.

I just decided to use it as a forum to answer some of the questions I receive from time to time through emails from all those lovely groovy (somewhat strange people) who read the blog.

This final time I’ll be answering questions I’ve received over the last week or so, as well as the odd few which have been lurking in my inbox over the last several months.

Alrighty, let’s get started…sixteen questions today. Wow!


1. Why write the blog again for only a short period of time?

This will be answered in the final post in a little more detail but as I’ve failed at a lot of things in life when it came to the blog I wanted to ‘end it’ rather than leave it without a conclusion.

2. Skins, eh? First of all I think you’re a dick for thinking there are better shows out there than ‘The Wire…but, I do enjoy Skins, so to which side of the fence do you fall with the two gangs. Are you a series 1 & 2 groupie or do you prefer series 3?

Series 3.
No question.
No doubt.
No hesitation.

For those of you who don’t know Skins or what the question means, the producers of the show took a huge risk with series 3 by replacing pretty much the entire cast. The show is about a group of teenagers and their (somewhat explicit) shenanigans whilst studying for their A-levels. Series 1 and 2 had a group, and then were replaced with a whole bunch of new kids for series 3.

However much I love some of the group in the first two series – Cassie (obviously), Syd, Michelle, Maxxie (and I do have a thing for Sketch) – there isn’t a single person in series 3 I dislike.

How can you not like JJ, who is just wonderful…and then we have Naomi and Cook. Plus the double whammy of Emily and Katie (ohhhh, Emily), the sublimely wonderful Pandora and the screen dynamite that is Effy.

Yep, no question, the series 3 lot.


4. What happened to http://www.myjourneywithdepression.com?

It, alas, died.

I couldn’t afford the money to keep it going when it was expiring early this year. I tried to resurrect it back in May, but then it was hijacked by some random annoying company who post things about medication, Viagra, increasing the size of your penis, Russian brides and the like…and I’ve never been able to get it back.

I lost a lot of good posts when that happened too :(

However much I love this blog – the original – I will always love the other which was for a time my place on the net.

5. Are the names on this blog real?

No.

Well, the only names on this blog which are real are my own – Andrew, hi – and celebrities.

All those others which get dropped in from time to time are carefully selected pseudonyms which if you don’t know me, you never will know who they are, so there’s no point even trying to work it out. If you do know me personally you should be able to work it out but in which case the pseudonyms are pointless and you know who everyone is anyway! :)

My personal favourite pseudonym is Diane, crackingly bizarre how I got to that one!

6. What’s the CDC?

Ahh, the CDC, memories of the past :)

The CDC stands for the Canadian Dungaree Count.

When I was in Canada I noticed women wearing them every-bloody-where so started a count in my journal as to how many I saw in Canada, as I’d never seen them worn anywhere else in the world. I think it got to something like 142 in three months, which doesn’t sound like much, but how women do you see wearing them these days? Even pregnant women don’t wear them nearly as much.

Bring back the dungaree :p

7. What’s ‘Blink‘, as referenced in your fanatical (are you a stalker by the way?) mention of Carey Mulligan and in so many random places throughout the blog?

Oh, Carey :)


Sorry, slip into dream world at the mention of her…and, no, I am not a stalker. However if she happened to be in the same park, homeless and in need of a blanket and some ‘warmth’ – of course I would offer :p However, as she has appeared alongside some of the sexiest men in the world (Johnny Depp, David Wenham, David Tennant, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, Jake Gyllenhaal) I doubt there’s much chance she’ll ever be homeless. Unfortunately.

Blink is one of the finest episodes of Doctor Who’s kick arse third season, and is third in the run of kick arse six episodes which closed the season. It is the Doctor-lite episode of the year (i.e the one where the Doctor is hardly in it) and features the almightily talented Carey in the lead role as the delightful Sally Sparrow.

Here is a clip of an awesome scene featuring the awesome quotes “I’m clever and I’m listening and don’t patronise me because people have died and I’m not happy.” and “The angels have the phone box, that’s my favourite, I’ve got that on a T-Shirt,”

Also, in reference to question (5) two of the pseudonyms on the blog came from this episode :)

8. What’s your favourite all time post on the blog?

Men and Mental Health

I don’t really know why but I loved writing it and I still enjoy re-reading it.

9. Are you a complete tosser cause I’ve read bits of this blog and you come across as a right wanker!

I am indeed a complete tosser.
You are right.
Well done.
I hope you are very proud of yourself.

(Geez, never heard that one before)

:-p

10. {screwyou@} are you gonna elaborate?

Yes.
Be patient.
Everything has it’s time, and place.

11. Why was this blog the second worst decision in your life?

Again, be patient.
Of course this is going to be covered. Are you mad? Which hopefully you are, because so am I, and there is something sublimely calming about being mad. Sometimes.

12. You seem to have something against Adelaide. Given I live here and think it’s awesome what the hell do you have against the place?

I have nothing against Adelaide itself – granted I have several bad memories of Adelaide but nothing against the city itself.

I loved the city, in fact, it’s one of my favorite places in Oz, second fave behind Melbourne in fact. An awesomely lovely place and I was just playing with the psychiatrist when I said this.

There are lots of things to do in Adelaide, there’s Hindley Street and it’s myriad of bars and sex shops, a fantastic cinema in North Adelaide and a bevvy of beauties – alas, none of them in dungarees. There’s also some pigs, and a couple of giant balls which makes you think the council are either being a bit arrogant or trying to compensate for something.


Plus, two of the greatest mysteries in Australian history originated in Adelaide, so what’s not to like.

All hail you for living in my second favorite city in Oz :)

13. Do you think you’ll ever attempt suicide again?

Yes.
I’m fairly positive I will one day, which isn’t saying I will right now.
I am actually positive this is how I will eventually die one day…unless I get hit by a bus, or rampaging hippo, or eaten by a ravenous mongoose, or licked to death by a vole…actually, I want to be licked to death by a vole, how awesome would that look on your death certificate!

14. What triggered the end of your manic phase in Adelaide? I wanna know!

What happened in Adelaide is something I have spoken about directly to only four people, ever! One – being the psychiatrist this year, Two – another psychologist (in 2007), who didn’t believe me, The Third – a female friend, who laughed at me and The Fourth – in an email, who attacked me.

I don’t mind talking about mental illness, emotional abuse, my childhood, suicide attempts, my fantasies, kinks and random desires but this…nope. The simple fact is I’m not ready to write that post, I tried this week, and it triggered a very nasty period last weekend. Just as it always has whenever I think of it. I had intended that line to foreshadow the post I was writing, and should have removed it before publishing but it got missed in the short internet time I have these days.

It’s incredibly complicated, has created a myriad of other complications, and is very very raw. It’s something I have never even really attempted to understand, have tried to forget and in no way come to terms with.

But hey – though I may be more Dan Brown or James Patterson than Charles Dickens or John Galsworthy – are you sure I haven’t already? ;)

15. I’m glad you’re finally leaving the blogosphere…please tell me it’s for good this time!

Yes, it is, as I said and will make clear.

I have nothing left to say here, so this blog will be over soon enough.

16. Don’t you ever listen to music which isn’t obscure folk, soundtracks or other garbage?

a) Weak in the Knees is not garbage. I will slap you for saying that!
b) With my current situation I don’t get to listen to nearly as much music as I would like to.
c) And yes, I have a random and insanely odd taste in music, pretty much every genre. Here is an eclectic selection:

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