All that I am, all that I ever was…

I am more than my mental health. I am more than my homelessness. I am more than any one aspect of me. I am Addy. And this is…

100 Random Things About Me [Password Protected]

This is the uncensored (kink included) version of the list published on the about me page.

I wrote this list a few months ago upon joining a social networking site called Fetlife. Being primarily a site for people who are kinky in nature, specifically BDSM and spanking, you can expect references to these topics should you proceed…hence the password ;)

  1. I once called the police to report a rogue goat in Wodonga cemetery and spent two minutes constantly reiterating the word goat as they thought I was drunk and reporting a rogue ghost.
  2. My favourite book is Quest for a Kelpie. Whilst it was being read to the class when I was in primary school I have a clear memory of perking up during several small spanking scenes.
  3. I lost my virginity at the somewhat embarrassing age of 22.
  4. My record for the number of Pringles eaten in one mouthful is forty-nine.
  5. I was once the victim of an emotionally abusive relationship that cost me everything in my life. And I mean EVERYTHING!
  6. When I was eight I played the Ugly Stepsister in a school production of Cinderella.
  7. I was the only audience member in a screening of the Jeremy Irons starring Lolita.
  8. I used to spank myself with my Aunt’s hairbrush when I would housesit for them as a teenager.
  9. I suffer from social anxiety disorder.
  10. When I was nine I hid a plastic bag of dead crabs I’d collected from the beach in the garage. Three months later the source of the stench was discovered by my rather angry parents.
  11. My ex-girlfriend once bought me a hat that made me look like I was communist dictator.
  12. My finest fancy dress moment was Superman.
  13. I once threw a chocolate éclair at my German teacher but the detention was worth it as no-one bothered to tell him he had cream in his beard all morning.
  14. I once stripped to Britney Spears’ Oops I did it again in a nightclub in Inverness.
  15. Yes, I was removed from the nightclub by two bouncers who kept my shirt.
  16. I wrote a novel at the age of 14.
  17. I was diagnosed bipolar in 2008.
  18. My favourite food is a Jacket Potato.
  19. I once streaked down Rundle Mall in order to win a spank bet with a woman I’d just met.
  20. I cried at the end of Monsters Inc.
  21. From August 2009 to March 2012 I was homeless.
  22. The only movie that has ever scared me was the animated version of Watership Down.
  23. I visit the library at least five days a week.
  24. My current reading average is 19 books a month.
  25. I have never watched an episode of Masterchef.
  26. Whilst working at a motorway service station I served coffee to Jeremy Irons.
  27. I have been living in Australia since 2002.
  28. In 2010 I fulfilled a lifelong dream of hugging a wombat.
  29. I completed Zelda: Ocarina of Time in nineteen hours.
  30. I have always wanted to be spanked so hard I couldn’t sit comfortably – just to see if it’s possible.
  31. In 2007 I successfully convinced a hotel to give me a free suite for the night because I was a successful author and would plug them in my next book if they did so.
  32. When I was nine my parents grounded me for disobeying their order that I wasn’t to watch Doctor Who.
  33. I have been a Doctor Who fan ever since.
  34. I was once called ‘evil’ for being a fan of this television show.
  35. Whilst at college I directed and starred in a short film where I played a serial killer.
  36. Five years ago I was physically assaulted and anally raped by another man.
  37. My second favourite movie is Local Hero.
  38. A friend once threatened to spank me for leaving her car/house keys on the front seat of her car. She didn’t, but I’ve always wished that she had.
  39. I cannot believe how anyone can be surprised by the end of The Sixth Sense. Most obvious plot twist – ever!
  40. When I returned to Scotland for the first time in six years I kissed the ground Bonnie Prince Charlie style.
  41. I believe in the Loch Ness Monster.
  42. I’ve attempted suicide several times in my life, most recently last year.
  43. I once sent a script I’d written to the BBC. It was crap.
  44. My girlfriend refused to spank me after she’d offered to do so because I would enjoy it, and she didn’t want to do anything I would enjoy.
  45. I have always wanted to visit Antarctica.
  46. My favourite sport is snooker.
  47. When I was seven I was crawling through a concrete pipe that formed part of a playground and decided to stand up without looking halfway through. Yes, there was blood!
  48. I do not – as far as I’m aware – have any allergies.
  49. I once got so drunk I got locked out of my backpacker hostel and ended up walking several miles to a 24 hour supermarket where I did a food shop at 4am.
  50. When I was in High-School I was undefeated master of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon”
  51. I’ve always wanted to be caned.
  52. My favourite Roald Dahl book is Matilda.
  53. My least favourite Roald Dahl book is The Twits.
  54. I hate mushrooms.
  55. When I first arrived in Australia I had a giggle-fit over the name of the ‘Whip’ chocolate bar. It’s been my favourite chocolate bar ever since.
  56. I was once registered and investigated as a missing person.
  57. I don’t like Robert De Nero.
  58. When I was in my mid-twenties I nearly fainted after shaking hands with Colin Hay.
  59. I started self-harming when I was thirteen. Yes, boys self-harm too!
  60. My girlfriend once gave me seven hours of silent treatment for using the word “vagina” in a game of scrabble. Needless to say, she wasn’t kink-minded.
  61. I love hash browns.
  62. My equal-favourite film director is David Fincher.
  63. Sometimes I answer that question with David MacKenzie, my other equal-favourite, to see if anyone knows who he is.
  64. I drink alcohol on only four days a year.
  65. I have known three people who have killed themselves in my life.
  66. I miss one of my old friends to the point of physical pain.
  67. I don’t have a Facebook account.
  68. I despise illegal drugs.
  69. My life will not be complete until I have been on Norman the Quiz.
  70. Speaking of quizzes, I’ve always wanted to be a Trivia Show host.
  71. My favourite author is Charles De Lint.
  72. I have never read any of the Harry Potter books.
  73. I feel totally out of depth on Fetlife for other than giving a few light spankings I’ve never really done anything kinky.
  74. I can’t drive.
  75. When I was a fourteen a stole a book from the school library and have felt bad about it ever since.
  76. I once purchased a wooden hairbrush from an op-shop because it would be perfect for spanking.
  77. I used to hate that during every ‘gym’ class the teacher would make me take off my glasses. You try hit a cricket ball that you can’t see and tell me how much you’d like it.
  78. My favourite restaurant in Melbourne was the Vegetarian Orgasm.
  79. I love potato on pizzas.
  80. When my parents once asked my siblings and I if they should start using spanking as a punishment, I wanted to say yes.
  81. I had a massive crush on my Geography teacher.
  82. I’ve suffered from insomnia for the last five years.
  83. I once played a game of Germ Buster for nine hours (the time it took to travel from South Wales to Fort William with a two hour stop in Glasgow)
  84. I love sleepy lizards.
  85. I once read a brilliant account of a real-life severe discipline belting that I’ve always wanted to experience for myself.
  86. I have always loved the “I never learned how to swim” scene in Wargames.
  87. I once deleted a novel I had written in a state of depression.
  88. When I was a kid I had five different paper routes. Two every weekday, an additional one on a Sunday and two lots of free papers.
  89. In Montreal, whilst attempting to speak French, I asked the receptionist of a backpacker hostel if she could spank me before bed as it would help me sleep better. I didn’t realize my mistake until the next day.
  90. My favourite musical group is Runrig.
  91. I have always wanted to go to university.
  92. Since I started supporting the Melbourne Football Club, they have lost every match in spectacular fashion.
  93. In moments of paranoia I blame myself for their woes.
  94. I’ve suffered from PTSD since the emotional abuse and rape in 2007.
  95. I once woke up to find a possum sleeping on my head.
  96. Due to anxiety, it once took me eleven hours to write a comment on a website that was two paragraphs long.
  97. I’ve set myself the goal to receive my first spanking by the end of the year. Preferably sooner.
  98. I love flapjacks.
  99. I once owned a cactus called Cookie Monster. It died after my girlfriend accidently pushed it out a four story window.
  100. I’m far too honest for my own good.

One thought on “100 Random Things About Me [Password Protected]

  1. I lost my virginity at 22, as well. I don’t think it’s embarrassing; and it wasn’t for any religious reason either, I just never wanted to before then!

    Like

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